Marco Rubio the Robot Departs 2016 Republican Race
Marco Rubio lost Florida to Trump, and after claiming he’d stay in until the end, didn’t even wait for the votes to be counted in Florida where his political career started and has now shriveled and died on the vine in the hot sunshine where he couldn’t even win his home state. In the 2010 general election for Senate, Rubio won nearly 50% of the statewide vote and almost 2.5 million votes overall. Just six short years later, Rubio will probably only manage to win about 1 million votes against the most cruel, con-artist Johnny-come-Republican-lately candidate Trump.
Marco Rubio’s political career is like a cuban-heels wearing version of the Microsoft Zune, a corporate product that already existed in better form elsewhere, nobody wanted, people say worked decently if anyone actually bothered to want one, but ultimately spent many years being propped up by stupid money until merciful cancellation, after which it went away forever. Rubio drank the Tea Party’s kool-aid to become a Senator, and since then has done stunning little in general, but especially little outside of running for President. The robotic manner in which Rubio repeated himself in this year’s most famous New Hampshire debate is little accident. Just like a Zune, if you keep hitting play on that old Brittany Spears song everyone despises, eventually a few people in your audience might start tapping their feet, just a little bit, just because drums make you do that, and boom! you’re still useful, if even for just a minute or two, and a few months later, it’s over followed by years of obscurity. Nobody remembers your name except as a symbol of how all the money in the world can’t make failure into success. I would like to apologize to the Microsoft Zune for making this comparison, because the device never lied or pandered like Rubio, and certainly the Zune has got a more humane soul than Marco Rubio too.
Maybe it’s because Rubio doesn’t care about fighting global climate change by reducing emissions, making the pathetic claim that “America is not a planet”? Maybe it’s his stance on abortion that human life begins at conception because “a human life won’t become a donkey or a cat”? Maybe it’s because Rubio became a shill for the Koch Brothers, private prisons, basically anyone with cash. Maybe it’s because Rubio flipped his stance on abortion from terrible to terrifying, and lied about it, a lot. Maybe it’s because Rubio the latino, whose parents immigrated to the US bringing his grandfather — who worked for Castro after the Revolution — illegally a few years later, turned around and decided that the next Marco Rubio should be deported. Maybe it’s because Marco keeps the hardest, hard line anti-Cuba position when the rest of the country and even his anti-Castro hometown have moved on.
Rubio’s biggest accomplishment in the United State Senate was passing the Gang of Eight immigration bill, which would’ve helped millions of latinos and others already living in this country. Rubio helped get the bill passed, raising the hopes of millions of illegal immigrants working hard and praying that one day, someone would take a political chance on legalizing their status if only for their children’s sake. Rubio was their only hope on the Republican side, a latino, the child of immigrants.
Rubio’s biggest defeat in the Senate was walking away from that very same bill, for almost two entire years! It’s not like Rubio just walked away and the bill evaporated, it was passed for nearly two years, but Rubio refused to lift a finger to lobby his fellow congressmen in the House to take action. It’s not like this is impossible either. Even the evil Ted Cruz lobbied House Republicans to shut the government down for ABSOLUTELY no benefit whatsoever and got them to do it, just because! It cost $24 Billion dollars and Cruz convinced the “fiscal conservatives” to make the same mistake the GOP made in the 90s! But Rubio couldn’t be bothered to show up, let alone lobby for the only piece of important legislation he’d been involved in during the prior three years or would see for the next three years.
Rubio began his political career as a typical Miami politician, slick and ready to lobby, with just a touch more intelligence and a whole lot more ambition. But over the short span of ten years, Marco Rubio transformed himself into a hard-right Republican Tea Party darling so callous and utterly purchased by the Koch brothers, that by 2016 he became unrecognizable by even those in his hometown and ultimately by his own home state voters. Rubio’s political career was carefully steered through the 2000s by Miami’s most investigated for corruption Republican politician, David Rivera and his alliance with Jeb Bush. Rubio was so far in bed with Rivera, that he bought a home with the guy, and then later let it fall into foreclosure, before selling it at a loss. When your greatest political benefactor is the most loathed, corrupt villainous politician in a state known for awful politicians and a city known for corrupt deals, it speaks volumes about a politician’s true nature.
It bears only “honorable” mention that Rubio basically destroyed his political mentor Jeb Bush as the two shortsightedly fought when there was absolutely no need, setting the stage for the rise of Trump and his fascist wing of the Republican party. Bush once gave Rubio a sword as a gift, which he probably regrets as it was used to cut off his legs last October in the, “you’re only attacking me because you think it will help in the polls” debate moment. But, clearly Jeb Bush had solid reasons to attack his lazy, self-star struck former protoge, the least of which being that Rubio’s thirst for higher office completely overwhelmed any sense of public service or his desire for any actual accomplishments as a legislator. Even Jeb Bush had a few accomplishments as Governor, like putting public records online, that any Floridian could talk about alongside his disasters (which Rubio enabled) like keeping poor Terry Schiavo “alive” years after the poor woman’s husband wanted to pull the plug on his vegetative wife. Rubio’s top surrogates in this race couldn’t name a single thing he had accomplished. So much for the politician whose ideas supposedly made him special. Jeb Bush’s endorsement might not mean much, but it might’ve helped Rubio win Florida, along with a gusher of money and help from the dark Republican dynasty.
Just like the Zune, in a few years, nobody will talk about or care about, or know what is a Marco Rubio.