Screw people, what about me?

Or… a smart watch postmortem.

by Gabriel Kent

"Most persons are so absorbed in the contemplation of the outside world that they are wholly oblivious to what is passing on within themselves.” — Nikola Tesla

Before we dive into this article, I just want to take a moment to clear the air. I enjoy my social interactions as much as the next person… probably a little less so but I do genuinely enjoy social interaction. I am empathetic. However, the writing that follows speaks to what I believe comes before other people, so screw ‘em, this is about me… or possibly you, dear reader.

Allow me to write a story for you.

One day, the day the Moto360 launched, I purchased a Moto360 from its site. A few weeks later, I received my Moto360 and I was overjoyed. I marveled at my new smart watch, fawned over my new smart watch and recommended my new smart watch to any person who’d show the slightest interest. Which was just about everyone because, well, have you seen the Moto360? Though I suppose with the launch of the Apple Watch, people are now more familiar with slick digital watch faces but way back last year when the Moto360 launched, the public was likely less so, I digress. Fast forward a few months and now I no longer have it anymore. Gave it away. Wanted nothing to do with that damn thing.

Why?

That was the question I received by everyone that had previously heard me proclaim the value of the Moto360 and noticed I no longer rocked the Moto360. Some of the very same people who went ahead and purchased a Moto360 on my recommendation.

But, why?

Because notifications.

Ah and now the point of this article appears to have been fully revealed. But not quite yet dear reader, there is something much more subtle and altogether nefarious I have yet to write for you. As I hope you’ll see, today’s so called smart watches are just a little evil.

When you put something in your pocket or bag, it is in your pocket or bag. When you strap something to your body, it is strapped… to your body.

Let that sink in.

Now think about how many notifications you receive on your phone per day. Really, try to come up with a number. Feels like a lot doesn’t it? All those Facebook notifications, Instagram photo alerts, Snapchat messages, calendar reminders… So how many? Feels like a lot.

In one mobile study, a group of smart phone users received on average 63.5 notifications per day. Per day… That’s 444.5 per week, 1,778 per month, 21,336 per year. Feels like a lot.

Doubtless, it is hoped the majority of those notifications are useful. They are mostly probably not but humans are a hopeful bunch so let’s just hope they are.

These notifications are disruptive in of themselves and seem to cause a type of light obsessive compulsion in many smart phone users. Users locked into a see/hear notification, check notification loop from the moment they awake to the very moment they set their phone next to their bed and try to fall asleep, despite all the blue light their eyes just absorbed.

But phones are made to be picked up and put down. That use case is designed right into every smart phone. In fact, right now somewhere in the world there is a smart phone designer losing sleep over how to better the ergonomics of their next phone.

Watches are inherently different though aren’t they?

One straps a watch to their body, it sits there, pressed up against the skin, doing things. In the case of a smart watch it is likely doing many things, hopefully marvelous things.

Like vibrating, on your wrist. That’s your watch, it is telling you to pay attention to something. Look at me it seems to buzz. BUZZ, notification. BUZZ, notification. BUZZ, look another notification.

While writing this I can already imagine some of your possible comments. Why not manage my notifications better? You do know there’s an easy to use silent notifications function, right?

Right.

I am usually what one might call an early adopting power user. I trust my technolust.

Which is to say, I tried. Really, I tried. What failed me was logic. It just stopped making sense.

Starting with the default, all notifications on, I was quickly overwhelmed with all the notifications buzzing my wrist and pissing into my head. So I massaged my binary per app notification options. On or off is the choice you get, either for all apps or per app. On or off.

If you’ve ever took it upon yourself to set your notification options per app on your phone, you’ll recognize the mental dance I went through to get that done, ‘maybe I sometimes want these notifications, maybe…’

Whatever, got the choosing done. Things were better but over time I began to identify other notifications that really should have been turned off, so I did that, I turned them off. My watch buzzed less, it got quieter. I glanced at it less, used it more like a pure watch. At times, the watch would be in silent mode for a day or more, simply because I forgot to unsilence it.

Over time it became more like a normal watch, with an occasional notification, with occasional replies. It became valuable as a bellwether for what was important at a glance. A quick way to dictate a short reply. It was marginally more useful than an analog watch.

It took vigilance.

Vigilance I’m not sure your average user should have to put with, vigilance that I’m not sure compulsive phone users would exhibit. Vigilance I was tired of upholding.

Having a round digital screen on your wrist is actually pretty awesome. But its strapped to your wrist. Where a phone can be put down or placed in your pocket, your smart watch is meant to stay on your wrist, against your skin, doing things.

Just want to check the time? How about these 3 new notifications to distract you until you forget about the time…

So finally we have arrived at the point, dear reader. There are plenty of cooler watches out there than all the best smart watches combined. Watches that don’t presume your attention but faithfully wait to receive it.

Watches that do not require a smarter disruption policy and that do not die at the bar when you decide to grab a drink after work.

I no longer wanted that damned Moto360 because when I did the value equation in my head, it turned out I wanted greater control over my attention, not another interface that distracted it.

In general, I believe the modern compulsive notification loop habit is the bane of daydreaming and internal reflection. Smart watches with their limited notification systems are only making this worse. One doesn’t plan a daydream, it just happens, therefore setting your watch to silent beforehand doesn’t happen. Sure, your phone may chime but seriously who hasn’t already begun to tune out the constant little chimes you hear around you all day. Buzzes and taps on your wrist trigger an altogether different sense, one more evolved for reaction.

The usual justification for rants against mobile digital distraction come in the form of proclaiming decreasing social relationships but before that can even be considered, there must be a case made for the interruptions to one’s own relationship with one’s own self.

By all indications, notifications will only increase as our attention is increasingly fragmented into different apps. Apps all vying for our attention through any screen we connect to them. A nefarious trend.

Should you get a smart watch? Sure, try it out YMMV. I am harping on the evil implications of smart watches here but to be fair they also have some very useful features. Try it out and do your own personal value equation.

I’ll be keeping an eye out for smarter disruption management, a better overall smart watch but more importantly I’ll be expecting uninterrupted peace when I put my phone down… which just might not be possible with a buzzing device strapped to my wrist.