The Snowflake Diaries: On ‘Mansmalling’
Luke O'Neil
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I actually thought this article was satire at first. I mean, another “man-” label? Seriously? But nope, this is a legit article telling us that if only men could be less “man-y” with, like, our larger physical bodies, that would be amazing. Do you know how I announce, “I’m a totally normal guy here — do not be alarmed, ma’am!”? By adhering to the social norms I was taught as a child: when in public, be courteous. Be aware of your surroundings and act accordingly. Be thoughtful. Be quiet. Be respectful to those you interact with. The end. It doesn’t make me a shithead if I decide not to contort my body awkwardly for the commute home in the hopes that maybe someone might be less scared that there is a man on the subway car with them.

Nevertheless, if conducting yourself appropriately isn’t sufficient to ease your white male guilt, I have a few suggestions:

  1. Shave your beard. Beards are being increasingly seen as a microaggression,and a symbol of toxic masculinity. This is a no brainer — get rid of it.
  2. Get to a laser removal clinic and get that threatening ink burned off. Same with piercings, except for perhaps a small, single hoop in one ear.
  3. If you’re describing yourself as an urban lumberjack, maybe soften things up. Floral print shirts and pastels, etc.
  4. Avoid situations where you’re likely to encounter women. Stay away from public transit for instance. Ride your bike, uber, but no buses or subways.
  5. You probably don’t have to weigh 200lbs. You can technically survive on less calories per day. You want to drop enough weight to still be able to get around and remain relatively healthy, but look skeletal enough to be non-threatening.

Good luck.

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