For When You Just Can’t Seem to Find Your Ground

It is okay. To not be okay.

No really. It is totally beyond okay. Trust me. No seriously. It’s totally okay.

It is okay not to have it together. It is okay to fall apart. It is okay to become unglued.

It is okay to be completely unsure. It is okay to be completely unsure of what you are unsure about.

Psstt. It gets better.

It is perfectly fine to have an hour, a day, a few days, a complete week of feeling not yourself. Hell a month. Or even a year. That is okay. Take that time to nurture yourself. Be kind to yourself.

Cry it out, yell it out. There is no quick fix. Don’t feel as if there has to be a quick fix either. There is no magic bullet. It is perfectly fine to admit that you need a reset. That you need time. To say out loud I am having a really bad day. A horrible day. A sad day. A not so sure day. A mixed up day. An “I just want to be alone day “ or even a “I really, really need my friends, partners, mom, dad, cat, dog, hedgehog, therapist, donut, cookie, run, do nothing kind of day.” It is even okay to sometimes say, “You know-I’m not even sure what I need.” Have a “I’m so overwhelmed I don’t even know where to begin kind of day.”

Pssst. There is hope. It gets better.

Whatever it may be-just don’t forget one thing. It will be okay. How do I know? Well because you are still standing right? You have had some of these days before and they passed right?

You have had just as many happy days, just as many I feel on cloud nine days, I want to run through the grass and flip cartwheels and handstands days, I’ve laughed until my side hurts days, I could stay up forever days, I’m so tired but I’ve got this days, I’ve crossed the finish line days.

“But this feels as if it will never pass! Just as I come up for air I get hit from all sides and I just keep getting stuck!”

“I don’t know how to get unstuck!”

“I feel like a big huge burden to my friends, partners, mom, dad, brother, sister, cat, dog, hedgehog, etc..”

“I just want to take care of myself.”

“I just want to feel independent.”

“I would feel so much better if (insert all of the reasons, hopes, dreams, unicorns and butterflies here).”

Well you know what? Even through all of that-guess what? You’re going to be okay.

I know, I know you’re probably saying- “What? I’m going to be okay? But I feel like s#*&. How is that lucky? Or blessed?” “How in the heck do you know I’m going to be OKAY?”

Remember- That’s totally fine. It is okay to feel like s#*&. Everyone feels like s#8& from time to time. If they say they don’t, they’re probably lying. Even those who write great those articles, self-help books, blogs, TEDtalks, zen meditations, daily affirmation posts, heck even this one-yeah you know the ones, the same ones you are probably scrolling through right now and typing into your search engine to help you feel “normal”-yes, even those people. Guess what? Even they feel like s#8&. We’re human after all, not some damn robots. The way the world is going even AIs will have days where they feel like s#*& too.

Just know you are not alone. Even when it feels super lonely. You aren’t alone.

You aren’t alone in your feelings. You aren’t without someone who cares. Someone to help you.

I know, I know-in the thick of things it gets reallllllyyyy ugly. Especially in these times of daily uncertainty-from government shutdowns, increasing policy changes, bigger budgets and smaller wallets-it can feel pretty f%$&@d up.

Repeat after me-no seriously, say it with me-You. Are. Not. Alone. I know you probably want to hurl right about now, but guess what? It’s true. Once these clouds of craptastic feelings pass-you’ll remember it.

“Well how can you be so sure?”

Well because I’m just a woman having her own series of pretty f%$&@d up days. Going through my own “insert all of the above” kind of day(s). It feels cloudy and hazy and I don’t know when I’ll come out of the tunnel. The tunnel filled with tons of tears and anxiety and anger and frustration and a boat load of uncertainty. Make it a cruise ship. And well we all know how well cruises are doing these days.

I am just a woman trying to figure it all out-just like someone who may be reading this. Hell no one may read it. And guess what-that’s okay! In a way, this is my own way of reminding myself that it is totally okay not to be okay. But I’ll be just that-okay. A way to remind myself that I too am not alone.

So hang in there. Ride it out-but hold on. It’s a bumpy road and ride, but eventually it smooths out. Doesn’t mean there won’t be more bumpy roads ahead-but you’ll get stronger. You’ll need less Dramamine eventually.

Hang in there. No matter what keep going. Keep pushing. Don’t stop fighting. No matter what anyone says or doesn’t say. Just keep swimming, running, walking, jogging, huffing and puffing, limping, crawling-or a combination of all of them, cause let’s be real-life is welp life. And guess what? That’s okay.

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