Balotelli!
Jean pinched the bridge of his nose. Bury him? No. Dog walkers always find them. An accident and… and the…
Balotelli!
He’d just gone back to Nice?
Balotelli! Balotelli! Jean couldn’t think.
He was a joker, his obituary would say. Luc was a joker. Luc was also crushed into the chest freezer in the alleyway.
Balotelli!
The restaurant’s on fire! When Jean arrived in his slippers Luc was laughing so hard. He’d done that thing with the cloche. Balotelli! He’d cut a hole in the counter and stuck his head through it and Jean screamed.
Then the YouTube videos. At lease twice a day Luc had snuck up on Jean and scared him. He filmed it and Jean’s screams had been viewed over 2 million times.
Tonight he’d been looking for peas and Luc had grabbed his shoulder and Jean had screamed. He’d then turned and, using the tin of peas he was holding, stoved Luc’s head in. Though he’d tell the police it had been an instant reaction there’d been a pause before he turned and started whaling on him.
He’d put the body in the freezer. And now he was trying to think while the name Balotelli rung out. Jean had opened as normal and as soon as he’d turned the lights on the televisions, which hadn’t been there the previous day, came on. They were playing loops of Balotelli scoring 7 goals in 4 matches for Luc’s home town team. Jean and Luc had argued long one night about the merits of Mario Balotelli. Jean thought he was a big old waste of space and was sure he wouldn’t be a success in Ligue 1. Luc disagreed.
The TVs were somehow wired into the lights and there were no remotes to turn the volume down. Balotelli! A hand clapped him on the shoulder he screamed. It was Luc.
“How?” Jean managed. Balotelli! “Why?”
“Had you going, mate!” said Luc. Jean grabbed a knife from the counter and plunged it into Luc’s chest but it was one of those trick retractable knives.
“No more,” said Luc. He dropped the knife and headed for the exit. He paused looking at the door. It was clearly a crudely painted picture of a door on a bricked up wall. He turned back to Jean who was doubled over laughing.
“This is a nightmare,” said Jean.
Balotelli!
