Is that car on the right side of the road or am I on the wrong side? Didn’t matter. He couldn’t lose his licence again. He could probably ramp over it. He squinted. Where was he? And what the hell was that smell?

Oh yeah, he was covered in vomit. Oh yeah.

“Compels!” he shouted in the dark street. He remembered the word now! He laughed. It was funny how that happened. When you were trying to think of a word but couldn’t.

“The power of Christ…” he’d said over the vomit covered bed but he couldn’t think of the next word. The young child on the bed was howling and wailing. “Shush monster!” he said with a finger held unsteadily to his lips. She was making it hard to concentrate. After regrouping his thoughts he tried again “The power of Christ… makes this happen… you.” Damn. “Holy water!” He went for his satchel. It kept trying to escape, spinning around his body, but finally he caught it. He looked through his bag for the bottle. “Forgot the Holy water,” he told the kid. He told her to shush again.

The room was spinning violently and he held onto the bed post to stop it levitating. Father Calum inhaled and made a piggy-snore noise.

A man’s voice seemed to come from the child then the man grabbed him. “Oh hello. The exorcism is nearly complete,” with what he hoped was a confident smile.

“You what? Have you been sick on Claire’s bed??”

Father Calum Doyle looked at the bed. “No. That was you, wasn’t it?” he asked the child who was still too possessed to answer. “That wasn’t me.”

“How did you get in?”

Father Calum Doyle tried to think. He’d got the call to some perform an exosc… an exosci… an ex-o-cism. He’d been having a drink. When the phone rang and… “Dunno.”

“I’m calling the police.”

“No, I’m calling the police!” Father Calum Doyle replied, jabbing a finger in the man’s chest. A scuffle. More screaming.

Well that explained the smell. Father Calum Doyle chuckled. “The power of Christ compels this bike to ramp over that car!” he shouted in the dark foggy street but he didn’t even manage to pop a wheelie and crashed gently into the front of it.