Lazarus Beaumont is wearing his new watch.

It cost him nearly £9000 because it is made of gold in Switzerland and it has diamonds on the numbers. The shop he bought it from had a doorman.

He is watching the presentation but he doesn’t really understand the presentation. He can’t even remember the brief he gave but he doesn’t think that this fits it. He will tell them to do it again. He will tell them to make it punchier. Lazarus Beaumont likes things punchier. And he likes his new watch. Lazarus Beaumont doesn’t like dress down Friday.

It’s Friday and the staff look like hobos.

It’s cold in the room but Lazarus Beaumont has his sleeves rolled up. Nobody comments on his watch so Lazarus Beaumont forces his hand into his pocket and leans to the side. Now they can’t miss his watch. On the screen bigWOW appears and then disappears and Lazarus Beaumont is asked what he thinks.

Lazarus Beaumont thinks somebody should have commented on his watch because it’s made of gold and diamonds and it cost more than you earn in two months. Finally he speaks. “Make it…”


“Bingo,” says Lazarus Beaumont. He looks at his watch. And then he looks at the time on his watch. It’s lunchtime.



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