Still, at least he had Maria and little Tony.

It had begun 2016. The Brexit vote. Trevor voted for Brexit. He wasn’t that bothered either way but a change is as good as a break, so they say. Little did he realize the consequences of his actions.

Civil war broke out in late 2016. On Facebook. Dark times. He witnessed many battles. Engaged in a few. His Waterloo was a video of some incredibly smug guy smugly asking a Brexiter which laws he’d voted to abolish. The Brexiter had stumbled over his answers and was rounded upon. The comments section. Jesus. A bloodbath. But in the midst of that he met Maria. He was immediately attracted to the way she talked down to him as if he was a complete simpleton. Poor people are probably going to be £800 a year worse off, she said, blaming him personally. Hearing this he immediately changed his stance.

Then, with Christmas approaching John Lewis had put out a heart-wrenching advert featuring Remaindeers. That’s what really swung it. Everybody who voted for Brexit changed their tune after seeing it. They realized they’d been thick and 56 million people, arm in arm, marched on London demanding a second referendum. The government acquiesced.

What a party! We were back in the EU and the pound rebounded to record highs. The poor people didn’t get £800 poorer. They were just normal poor and delighted. And now one pound was worth about ten pound!

That week he married Maria and they had a child. Then the bombshell. Germany and France announced they were leaving the EU. They cited the fact that if one really important member could just leave then it probably wasn’t that stable an institution to begin with. They both made sweet trade deals with China and the US while we were now in a gang with Greece and Italy and the rest of the rubbish countries.

The pound was so strong that nobody could buy our cows and they were absolutely everywhere. Primark’s clothes were now SuperDry expensive and everybody wore itchy suits and flat caps.

People were talking about a third referendum. Trevor wasn’t that bothered either way. He had another bite of his burger and looked around for Maria but she’d gone to live in France with the kid.