Pick, Dick, and Hick of the Day — 1/13/17
Pick Of The Day:
Oklahoma City at Minnesota (Over 208)
**Disclaimer: I don’t know shit about the NBA
As a knowledgable and experienced NBA handicapper**, this game jumps out at me. Between the Thunder’s not-Kevin Durant and the T-Wolves young but highly skilled players, this game should be a doozie.
In all honesty, Westbrook is a best and everyone has been talking about how fun the Timberwolves are this season because they’re stacked with young talent. In further honesty, I didn’t love any of the NCAA games today so I decided to change it up with a NBA pick.
BONUS PICKS:
- Cleveland Cavaliers at Sacramento Kings (Under 214.5)
- New Jersey Devils (ML +190) at Calgary Flames
Dick Of The Day:
The Guy Who Makes A ‘Friday The 13th’ Joke/Comment Today, aka Superstitious Dick
First things first: fuck Judas/Gioachino Rossini/Thomas W. Lawson/Maurice Druon/John J. Robinson/Dan Brown/Steve Berry/any other annoying asshole that is credited for starting and/or supporting this bullshit mainstream delusion. And YOU are even worse if you actually believe that it’s an unlucky day or that bad things are more likely to happen on a Friday the 13th. Please, go inside and open an umbrella then use it to break a mirror… then tell me what happen?
If you worry about Friday the 13th or make an effort to avoid walking under ladders... you are a little bitch. This is a fact.
The guy in the office who says “be careful, it’s Friday the 13th” or “you never know, it is Friday the 13th” is the same fucking loser who makes the “I haven’t seen you since last year!” for like 10 days after returning to work.
Who know who else sucks? The dozens of dickhead journalist who chose to write about Finnair #666 flying to Helsinki on Friday the 13th, landing a 13 year old aircraft at 13:00.
That tweet might as well say: Aircraft, bakers dozen years old, lands 7 minutes early at Finland’s capital.
In fact, make it right: click here to tweet what they should’ve said!
Hick Of The Day:
Dude Steals Tools From Work, Calls His Boss Trying To Sell Said Tools
If this were Shark Tank, West Virginian hick Shawn Furner’s margins would’ve had those rich assholes looking like: 😍. Also, he really knows his target market — no one wanted those tools more than the exact guy on the other end of that phone call. Unfortunately, the only person who owned those tools was also the guy on the other end of that phone call.
…on a totally unrelated note, feel free to let me know if you think my choice for pick, dick or hick of the day. Just do what’s natural, talk shit on twitter!
