Pick, Dick, and Hick of the Day — 1/24/17

Pick Of The Day:

Kansas State at Iowa State (Over 144.5)

I really like Iowa State’s offense and I like them even more on their home court; they’re averaging just under 85 points per game (PPG) in Ames, IA. On the other side, Kansas State is averaging 76.5 PPG but have rocked the over in 4 of their last 5 games.

Let’s be real, there is a shitload of great games tonight. I had a hard time deciding what should be my POTD. I say smash this over and I’m not the only one… 95% of Sports Action users picked this game to hit the over.

*Bonus Picks:*

  • Villanova (-5.5) at Marquette
  • Virginia at Notre Dame (ML -125)
  • Kansas (+3.5) at West Virginia
  • Washington Capitals at Ottawa Senators (Over 5.5)
  • St. Louis Blues at Pittsburgh Penguins (Over 6)

Dick Of The Day:

Chris Brown, aka InstaDick

Aziz Ansari made a phenomenal comparison between Donald Trump and Chris Brown during his SNL monologue.

If you think about it, Donald Trump is basically the Chris Brown of politics. And ‘Make America Great Again’ is his ‘These hoes ain’t loyal’. — Aziz Ansari

Being the sane, mature, and level-headed guy that we all know Chris Brown to be… he took to Instagram to address Aziz’s jokes.

First, he posted a clip of the SNL monologue with the caption “FUCK NO!!!!!! Somebody tell ALADDIN HOP OFF MY DICK! 😂.” Then to ensure he got his point across, he made the video below — which of course makes no fucking sense:

“Cocaine is a hell of a drug.” — Rick James

“…even salt look like sugar.” Dude, what the fuck are you talking about? Are you really gonna try to convince the public that we have the wrong idea about you? LIKE YOU DIDN’T JUST CALL THAT MAN ALADDIN?!

I’m pretty sure he meant to share the wisdom that “even crack look like sugar” …a lesson I’d guess he learned first-hand.

Oh well, let’s all hope Soulja Boy beats the shit out of Chris Brown in their absurd boxing match next month.

Hick Of The Day:

Accused Mar-A-Lago Trespasser Smears Bananas On Cars, Police Say

This story is actually almost too perfect for the Hick Of The Day; it’s everything. Florida + Trump + Fruit + Crime = Too Good To Be True?

Kelly Weidman broke into the Mar-a-Lago (Trump’s winter home) and did what any normal person would do… SMEARED FUCKING BANANAS ON VEHICLES IN THE PARKING LOT.

Where the fuck do you even get the idea to smudge fruit on cars? And I wonder if she ever considered a different fruit? I mean, Florida is the state of oranges. Or, why not like eggs or cheese or something?

After she lived out her Mario Kart dreams in the parking lot, she made her way inside. When she came across a computer where she typed out the message “FuckUTrumpB.” …sick burn, right?

Honestly, we haven't even gotten to the dumbest part of the story…

After the police arrested Wediman, she made it very clear why she had committed such crimes: she said she wanted to make a statement about being “cyber attacked” and no one was listening to her, so she wanted to be arrested.

For fuck’s sake Kelly… that’s not how this works!