On my mind lately: My favorite vacation, Mandy Moore and Gorillas.
I wasn’t ready for you to come back Mandy.
On January 8th, I was going about my business pouring water from the brita into my pretentious hydro flask. I won’t drink out of the cups in my house, cause you know we don’t have one of those dishwasher things. I don’t care how many times you clean that, its one of those dirty situations I can’t drink. Anyways, I got my water and proceeded to walk towards the couch, I had turned on the TV and was watching the golden globes. I still don’t really understand what the golden globes are, just a bunch of celebrities pretending to be sitting around a banquet table acting like they are excited about winning a golden globe even though they realize it doesn’t mean anything cause the Oscar’s are in a month. Anyways, so I am walking to the couch and then out of nowhere I felt a strong dagger punctuate my heart, I began to feel anxiety throughout my bloodstream, I felt sick. I remember thinking I am not ready for this, wait why, why do you have to do this? I am in shock, what in the world is going on? You, its really you. I locked you away in my heart years ago, I promised myself I would never think of you again. I used to think about you a lot, you were so young but at the same time you were kinda way older than me it seemed. In reality you’re only 2 years older than me, which means it actually could have worked out. I used to think about spending a life with you. Then all the sudden you just were gone, you disappeared, It hurt. I wasn’t ready for that. You said you had to move on in life, but like why did you do it then? And now you’re just there and here, you’re back. I wasn’t ready for you to leave then, and i’m not ready for you to be here now. I wanted to never see you again, I moved on. I forgot about you, and you’re just all the sudden there. Mandy, you’re just all the sudden there again and you look amazing.
Where have you been? You look amazing, have you eaten anything that isn’t good for you the past 12 years? How did you do it? How did you turn something amazing into something better. Apparently you have a new tv show, hmm woulda been nice if you would have told me about it. I tried watching it, but in the first 5 minutes you are pregnant. You think that was nice to just leave and disappear, then show up on TV looking amazing and then all the sudden you’re prego with another man’s child. Anyways, its ok. Somehow you still have that cute face. I’ll admit, Ive kissed a few girls listening to your “A walk to remember” sound track and pretended it was you, those were nice moments. But that is the most I have thought about you, you used to do this cute little thing where you squinted your eyes and your cheek bones went up whenever you said something important. I haven’t checked to see if it’s still there, but if it is, I know its still you. I am not sure why you choose 2017 to come back, I wasn’t ready. I stood there in shock and had to gather myself for a moment, but Mandy a wise man once told me “ They always come back.” I shoulda known one day you’d come back.”
Two years ago I saw this-
I didn’t mean to wake up that day and see a video of something that would occupy my thoughts day in and day out. Gorillas are crazy, look at it. They are so powerful and so smart and they have no chill at all. A child was mocking it and it wanted to turn that child into grilled cheese. Anyways, it started this random obsession of mine to write a short thriller about gorillas, over the past two years I have compiled about 10 chapters of what I call “The gorilla Diaries.” I realize that at this point I have lost it, I have turned insane. Maybe one day I will post it, who knows.
But look at this video….
I have so many questions about this gorilla…
How long do you think he had been waiting to get the courage to throw his stuff at the workers? Do you think he thought about it for a month? Do you think his friend dared him? What made him wake up that day and say, this is the day! Its today, I am gonna throw my stuff at the worker! Do you think he was nervous, you know when youre about to do something that gives you that rush… Ha and then he just did it.. I love that he just books it, do you think he felt guilty about it for a few weeks? Do you think he felt satisfied, I just threw my stuff at that guy! Do you think he is friends with the caretaker and it was just for fun. Do you think his friends talked about it, do you think in 20 years everyone will look back and say “ Hey remember when Don threw his stuff at the caretaker?”
Anyways,a bunch of stuff on my mind.
