Are you a pleaser? Kris would say, and with some real truth, you are trying to get in…get that external love you seek…make that connection, get that intimacy fix you want…by adjusting your style. Trying to figure out how to please, to get in…to satisfy your needs. Yes, you want to help and please, but ultimately for your own needs.
Probably true…and nothing wrong with that in itself. However, it becomes an addiction, trap…which becomes frustrating for both of you. That my dear is a real problem that needs a lot of self work.
Just remember you can only change yourself…never your partner. Your partner has to choose and do their own work. It is my understanding that most love avoidant’s will not…cannot..