Attachment to an externally-based identity. Our sense of identity is what helps us to make all of our decisions — who we’ll spend time with, where we’ll live, what kind of clothing we’ll wear, etc. It’s exponentially easier to create an identity around the things that have happened to us (i.e. the external) instead of out of the core part of who we are.
The 3 Reasons Why Some People Never Change
Katherine Schafler

Bingo!! This is the root of a lot of our personal and relationship issues. It is insidious and usually starts from a core self trauma obtained early in life. It is insidious because it is almost impossible to see from where we sit and when we could see it we are in such a sorry state…that the self awareness and personal strength to accept, learn about and commitment to the necessary change is a very tall order indeed. See #1.

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