Hmm…I like her. Respect her. She makes me laugh…rare. Very rare….women are so gosh darn serious. I am just me…naturally open, vulnerable, and fighting my fears. My fears are not being me…after a long spell of trying to be someone else for all the wrong reasons. … so her humor, responding to my openness made me simply tell her I was going to kiss her before the night was over on our first date, and if she did not want me too, to tell me now. She did not.
So on the second date…well she wanted me bad…so it would seem. She is not the one for me. I am happy to be there, listen, fill her needs…at times. She asks frequently…but I cannot. While it feels good…it does not feel like “the one.” She says she is okay with that…probably more than I am. I normally give my love easily…but, my love and commitment has proven harder. My giving is with both with deep thought and abandon…no one yet can match that.
I give it my all. I want it all…with someone. It is not a game…it is life…my only life. I realize I only have this one. I go with my feelings. If you can also…I promise to make you feel good, wanted, respected…if more comes of this between us…good for both of us. If not, I will cherish what was. Am I not perfect, or even good at this…yes in my ideals, no in my execution…I have abandonment insecurities.
While I cannot promise to live up to my ideals…I do promise to try and give it my best.
