To those who would bear the unbearable
Breathe.
When we defer and deflect and diminish our trauma, our body remembers. We carry our fear and anger, and wait until we are ready. I am glad you are ready.

Please know that if what you experienced was unbearable, it might remain unbearable. But you can see it, feel it, understand it — see, feel, understand yourself — and this will give you power. The trauma has power, but now, so do you.
I hope someone with compassion knows you, is with you, as you find a new way forward. If not, find others who can do this. Eventually, find a way to do service for others. What might never be truly fixed in us can be reduced — the pain and despair can be reduced — if we find safety and compassion with others. Lovingkindness is perhaps not enough to heal you completely, but love does heal, and every day.
You do not have to meet others’ expectations, and that includes your therapist. Fix what you can, endure the rest (with help), and turn your love outwards until you can turn it inside. Life is bigger than trauma, bigger than therapy, bigger than pain.
Hello, brave human. Welcome to the whole world, to inhabiting your whole self.