Jurassic Park and When Good Intentions Go South
Rather than leading off with a quote from a doctor of psychology, allow me to instead open with a quote from perhaps the world’s most beloved doctor of archaeology — Jurassic Park’s own Dr. Alan Grant — who so exasperatingly grumbled, “Some of the worst things imaginable have been done with the best intentions.”
There’s at least a small piece of Dr. Grant shimmying inside all of us (and no, you haven’t entered into some piece of Jurassic Park erotic fan fiction). To some degree, we all subscribe to the interworking of progress and discipline. And when this inclination is front and center, it’s easy to disregard the value of good intentions if they don’t directly translate into preferable outcomes.
But is it fair to exhibit such transactional love towards good intentions? Are we so possessed by the hope they give us that we can’t offer them compassion when they inevitably fail to deliver at one time or another? It hurts to be let down like that, but do we have to turn our backs on the good guy? What if we committed to praising good intentions regardless of how they turn out?
I understand that offering this praise can be challenging. Three reasons for this friction come to mind:
- Our emotional attachment to the result is stronger than our willingness to provide positive reinforcement, our belief in the benefits of positive reinforcement, or our ability to separate the result from the intention.
- We don’t possess the rhetorical skills necessary to speak in a way that differentiates between the result and the intention.
- We as individuals or the group(s) we represent are not in good standing with the well-intentioned person, and they’re motivated by rejecting or rebelling against positive feedback as delivered by us.
And these troubles, of course, remain intact even if we are the well-intentioned people in question — on the precipice of either patting ourselves on the back for doing what we felt was best or scolding ourselves for not having better foresight.
*Note: All of this article’s contents can be considered from both the standpoint of someone looking to offer support to others and the standpoint of someone looking to offer support to themselves.
Well, as the ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) folks like to advise: behavior goes where reinforcement flows.
Consider, for example, how the mindful and beloved parent approaches their child’s performance in school. If the child performs well, they’re wise to compliment the child’s efforts instead of their intelligence. This way, the child won’t be as prone to rest on their laurels, and will instead continue to put in the work and produce decent grades.
If the child underperformed but clearly made efforts to study hard, the parents should provide the same feedback, and theoretically the child’s grades will improve. In the event that their grades do not improve right away, the feeling of acknowledgement from their parents will leave the child more open to finding different and more effective ways of improving their performance.
What’s consistent between both scenarios is a commitment to effort (or intentionality). Should this commitment continue to be instituted, so to will a sense of comfort, and in time, both children will get the grades they desire.
Our innate need to be both protected by and significant within groups hinges largely on the support we receive from others. The better supported we are for any given choice, the more likely we are to replicate that choice or, perhaps more importantly, build upon it.
Therefore, validating someone’s good intentions is often a more successful approach to helping them maintain good intentions in the future than if we focus on a negative outcome caused by those good intentions — even if that negative outcome includes someone being ripped off a toilet seat by a Tyrannosaurus rex.
But in addition to maintaining good intentions, this social support also instills a sense of willingness to explore how these intentions can be better executed. When we’re shown forgiveness for good intentions that lead to unwelcome repercussions, a bond is established and there’s often a higher likelihood of wanting to make amends the next time around. So in short, supporting good intentions not only goes a long way in encouraging others to continue leading with them, but also propels people to explore how they can achieve better results. It’s not just a matter of issuing kindness and understanding, it’s also a long-term investment for the Dr. Grants in all of us who want so desperately to see safety and advancement.
So, was he right in saying that some of the worst things imaginable have been done with the best intentions?
Yes, but that doesn’t discard the fact that far worse things are likely to happen, and at a more consistent clip, if good intentions aren’t praised separately from what they result into. And when these good intentions are properly responded to, they may very well lead to some of the best things imaginable.
