Day 20: Morning Stream of Consciousness

The second installment of letting thoughts flood the mind

Photo by Ales Krivec on Unsplash

The single largest epiphany of my self challenge occurred to me around 4:40 am. I can wake up early, but at what cost? Does waking up early to feign production mean anything if I am exhausted later? Does it mean anything if I wake up early and then have the urge after only to sleep. My challenge was meant for me to discover new aspects of myself and also to grow. I’ve alluded to this fact in several previous posts, however, it has never been more apparent to me than now.

I don’t sleep enough. In fact I often sacrifice sleep for irrational bouts of unproductive behavior.

What should be more important to me than? Waking up at 4:30 am everyday or getting 7–8 hours of sleep? Over the past 20 days I’ve tracked the amount of sleep I get during my challenge and my average is about 5 hours and 23 minutes. That is not good, that is really not good. I am destroying my body by the minute every single day. Of course, the average person tells me I should simply go to bed earlier. Meaning I need to be going to bed at the absolute latest at 9:30 to get 7 hours. Unfortunately, due to a multitude of different variables, I find this exceptionally hard to do. Whether it is a function, a dinner, a conversation with a foreign country, the list goes on and on, going to sleep early proves to be much more difficult than waking up earlier. I know, those reading are thinking to themselves, so much for the consistency. So much for making this work.

Be quiet.

Before you sit there and judge the fact that I have repeatedly altered this challenge as it has gone on, remember, I did this to grow not for you to reprimand me. I ask for accountability not for reckless criticism. I’ve concluded that for my future 7 hours of sleep is much more important than recklessly waking up at 4:30 with no common sense. Which means it’s very possible I simply need to change my lifestyle. I see a great reality of me going to sleep at 11 and waking up at 6 am, however I want to gradually improve to getting to my coveted 9:30 pm sleep time to wake up at 4:30 am. I will work towards this, as it is the only way for me to improve. Moreover, my posts will be more consistent than ever before and feature more details and complexity as writing useless posts also helps no one either.

This is truly a journey in every sense of the word. I have thoroughly enjoyed this self-discovery as well as sharing it with everyone who chooses to read. Continue to accompany me on this journey and recognize that it takes time to build a habit and only 20 days into this, the healthy, right habit is revealing itself to me and I am accepting how to ensure future success.

Upside, next time someone inquires how to start a waking up early challenge, I am quickly formulating a list of all the dos and don’ts so that they can learn from my mistakes.

New addition to these posts will be my quote of the day which I always post on my Twitter and Facebook as soon as I wake up.

“The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places.” — Ernest Hemingway