He pulled the saw out from under his wardrobe where his collection of tools was. Then he did a big shit and went to bed. The next morning he woke up and the door was hung. He hadn't remembered it, oh well he was probably pissed or something. He stumbled across his living room that he used as a bedroom and pissed in the printer. He hadn't in fact woken up and was sleep walking, oh well, that's that printer broken.

It was a rainy Saturday when he owned up to himself that he was a knob but oh well he wouldn't let that get him down. Walked past a few cars and got angry at passers by saying’ fuck off you stupid twat’ at a volume not that loud but hopefully audible because that's how he felt treated by them, damaging his poor ears all the time.

He thought the world spinning around made everyone tired beyond their own control, but actually the moon goes inside people's bodies and makes them feel shit and eventually die as a way of making life more interesting, because we never really understand it properly.

You can't really separate people from one another, they always want something, ass holes.

I thought putin had a good face, like he's lived.

My mum used to really love me, but I feel a lot of love has vanished, or been stolen away by bastards.

Twas the night to remember, the amazing keg were gonna play. I'd have to pretend I knew my cousin in the band who I felt didn't like me because I bring with me a spell of unpopularity. It makes me so angry that people deny what's in their nature because they want to be included, it's really, really dumb.

We were going to miss the flight but we still had time to go to church, oh well, we made it and I went through customs proudly shoving the dozen condoms and fag buts in my pockets through the conveyer machine. It was fun. The airline staff chose for me and my cousin to sit on the only seats without t vs on them, obviously another conspiracy, but we got a free extra dinner and we have a laugh together, which is better than shit people being shit.

Looking for clothes is fun, bollocks to this country for making me materialistic, but it has, were a bunch of wankers in England.