Recovery & Restraint of Thumb & Send
Restraint of tongue, pen, email, text, emojis etc. I’ve learned to try and think carefully the method with which I communicate. Anything other than speaking (voice) can be misinterpreted.
The problem I’ve encountered many times involves the differences between monologue VS dialogue.
To send or receive a text expressing emotions can be dangerous. Words and language are extremely important. Words convey what I’m trying to express. Without the inflection of my voice and yours things can go wrong quickly.
We’ve evolved into a society which uses less words. Everything is typed, spoken to a machine, shortened. Words have become abbreviated and now emojis replace them.
Here is one recent example: I do not share my first drafts with anyone. I trust my own editing skills. The more I write, the better and easier it has become.
I attended an event with a friend in recovery. I wrote about it and shared the first draft with him. He replied (via text) giving me unsolicited input. I asked him to not comment further. It hurt my feelings. I expressed this to him via text.
He immediately reacted to my words and blocked me from all forms of communication.
This is our “Brave New World”. I’ve done it, it happens to me. People act as if we can just erase each other with the click of a few buttons. This seems to be how conflicts are handled now. This is unacceptable to me.
Being in 12 Step Groups, there are people I don’t get along with and vice a versa. This is one situation. I may not jive with someone and vice a versa. I completely understand this on Social Media. A friend (or acquaintance) online and in the real world are polar opposites. It’s great that we get options online to not see what we don’t want to.
Social media encourages situations where all of us inadvertently go against the meaning in Tradition Ten. I remind myself it’s not a meeting!
I find it magical that in A.A. we manage to navigate through life steering clear of topical issues.
Outside of meetings, it is easy to accidentally start discussing current events, etc.
When a hot button issues come up at fellowship, I try to change the subject.
We move on. A.A. must feel safe for new people. Especially if new people are out with us at fellowship. My behavior should reflect this.
As I child, I learned about the five senses. They are Seeing, Hearing, Touch, Taste and Smell. I must retain my learned knowledge of words, language and speech. Words allow me to read, communicate, understand and interact with the world. I hope to not lose my senses. My senses and speech, words, and voice make me the human being I am.
Often when I meet new young people, they want to be friends via texting. I’ll go along with this for initial getting to know you interactions. I make it clear early on though that I cannot be "text" friends. My 55 year old mind can’t handle it.
I utilize technology as I’m able. Today’s world encourages dependence on machines. Efficiency short cuts and expediency are all emphasized. Great, wonderful, amazing.
I try to bear in mind that today’s lack of restraint can quickly become tomorrows tenth step. I do dislike having to keep on making immense over and over, especially as a result of the same thing.
I really need to try and steer clear of electronically communicating as few feelings as I can. Stick with facts, plans, yes or no situations when possible. Wish me luck!