Enough

There are days when you just realize that you are not enough.

Where enough isn’t their dream of you.

Not their vision of later or the potential you have to be more.

Just not enough of what they want to be content

And not enough of positive image of yourself to leave.

We are on two different scopes of vision.

So many different ways to see the same point

But not willing to travel in longitude or latitude to a degree where we see things from the same angle.

Love should be free like an ocean clear of storm

Swaying,

Bending,

Flowing…

Ours is caught in a hurricane storm thrown to and fro through tsunami waves.

We are beginning to get sea sick.

Though we both love the water.

I’m lost to the lack of emotion you carry on our conversation with

The dead pan stares that replaced the longing,

Missing the missing amiss the laughs

The smiles,

The I love yous.

I hear the words.

I know that you want me to trust them,

Blindly.

I can’t help the helplessness of not understanding the equivalence of wanting to be here

And behaving like the sound of my voice at any point of your day is a point of arbitration.

This love is not sure footed.

It’s feet are dragging moats around our lives.

Trenches in our resolve and foxholes in our attempts at sustaining

peace.

I wish for the days when we would just talk for hours.

Live in unspoken moments.

I wonder if I damned our love in the perfect square emojis made out of hearts.

Love contained sometimes turns to poison.

It ferments to something we may not ever be able to swallow.

An unyielding, unending gourd,

Yet…

I can’t seem to lower it from my lips.

Place it on the table we’ve set for ourselves…

And walk away.

There are days that you realize that you are not enough.

Even when you are too much

Too often.