Be grateful for your powerful human instinct to want to be connected to another, to feel so bad whenever any deep connection is broken, no matter what the reason. This is the way you should properly be, if you’ve been fortunate enough to have influences growing up that promoted what is one of the defining positive features of Humans, as the most advanced and “civilized” of all the earth’s creatures.
Connection, affection, and love is what brings and keeps us together, and in keeping together we as a race exercise our most useful and even noble strength; what has and will keep us going on into the future. It is our natural state of being to love togetherness and loathe separation.
Some people have had the misfortune to have this Darwinian instinct short-circuited somewhere in their early years, through tragic events, or even more sadly, from being raised by wounded people who simply could not show their children why connection was vital and good, and what affection even felt like.
What you get when you raise a child without affection is, someone with an unfortunate tolerance for living completely without it; who can go through their entire lives without ever wanting to seek it out. It’s presence just doesn’t register on their emotional “radar”. While the auditory and body-language signals of being liked by someone just pass by unrecognized, clues to being disliked come in crystal clear.
Imagine what that must feel like inside?
Imagine what that person’s behavior looks like, to other people?
Imagine the future a person would have to endure.
Now decide which pain is the more preferable; the awful soul-deep ache of temporary alone-ness, or such a “life sentence” as the alternative would impose. Be grateful for your gifts, and go find affection and love once again, because you can.
