Roe vs. Wade: Men don’t get to sit this one out.

gregory rush
Sep 8, 2018 · 5 min read

Judge Kavanaugh still has a chance of becoming the GOP’s most “mission committed” Supreme Court Judge, even after his exposure this week as a serial perjurer in his previous judicial appointment hearings. Believe well folks that the Republican leadership does not care one bit that the public now knows all about it.

They’re so close to their goal now that I’ll bet the celebratory parties already have begun being planned and resourced, all over Washington D.C.. (The best D.C. party planners are hard to get, so they kinda had no choice…)

That’s what they think, still. They really are that certain, from having all put their collective thumbs on the scale, with each players special skills so obviously having been exercised.

I’ve spoken over the last weeks with many women who are rather incensed by the whole process, of ignoring their entire genders needs and wishes, and have been vocalizing their ire at increasing volumes and at elevated levels of public discourse. To say they all have “skin in the game” is right now an ultimate understatement of the century, here in the U.S.A., anyway.

I’ve also though discussed the issue and recent events with many men, finding that while their perspective on women’s reproduction rights tends to be more “either/or” on both fundamental sides being made more & more public now, there is also a difference in commitment to action in promoting and exercising their beliefs.

I’ve found those who firmly believe in women’s access to abortion being legislated from on high in statutory and final ways, to be very focused and forthright about the methods they would exert to promote that national policy coming to law.

I’ve also found though, many of those who aren’t firmly centered on objecting to abortions in principle, also aren’t firmly settled on what part they should, or even can, play in ensuring that women continue to have a choice, at all.

A few have told me that it seems like the political deck has been progressively more stacked against women deciding their choices, leading up to an impending end to all discussion. They don’t see how or where they can impact efforts to keep the opportunity open per the law.

Some have also though spoken about their feelings sometimes of a removal of varying degrees, from responsibility for the decisions being made. “It’s a women’s thing.”, is how I’ve heard it expressed, and; “Not my fight.”


I’ll state for the record here that I believe women should not ever have their rights decided by any body that is primarily men, be they even the most righteous and best-intended of national leaders.

If laws are needed, then somebody must make them exist clear and concrete, so we must go through the process, so that women can defend their rights in whatever manner time will cause their future necessity to do so.

But the “male-centric” way the matter is being decided now, is “IMHO” an absolute insult to the rights of female Americans all, now and in the future. Not just the ultimate decision, or the process the Republican leadership is right now conducting to be able to force that decision, but the fact that women’s preferences and values have been left out of the process from the very beginning. This seems not even fair human rights conservator-ship.


So, to the American men who can’t find an emotional connection strong enough to activate their commitment in the same way that women have for a long time now, I offer these examples of perspective:

What if; you will be a father of a young woman who found herself pregnant, and you knew as well as she did that she was not at all prepared to raise a child, financially or emotionally, and you could tell she’d get no productive support from the father of the child.

How would you feel, Dad, if you had to make clear to her that she really had no alternate choice at this point, other than to go through pregnancy full term and then decide whether she wanted to give up her child? Can you really say this would cause you no concern at all, as her months progressed? What would you feel, if this became the only choice? Would you welcome the change?

What if; you will be the father of the child, and you had to look the love of your young life right in her eyes and tell her; “It’s the law, made by those men, and we don’t have a choice. I can’t help you, you know that. I wish we had another choice, but baby we just don’t.”

Would you feel really proud of that? Would you feel so very lucky that the old men of Congress got you so very legally off the hook, so you didn’t ever have to have that perilous conversation of the “A” word with the one whose feelings matter to you most? Would your emotions be simple or complex, soft or strong?

What if you will be the father, of the father? Would you feel anything about the now-simplified decision your son had to make? How would you feel about the decision he did make?

To support his girl during her pregnancy, only to watch his child, your grandchild, be given away to strangers? To try bravely to support a family everyone knows he’s not prepared to manage, so you get to watch your son fail so miserably in this most basic rite of adulthood? Or, to walk away and speak of her no more.

Would you look forward to this looming possibility, as will every father of every son, counting the days through your sons growth until the time has come?


Guys, you may not have physical “skin” that the “game” will impact, but be very assured, there will be impacts upon your life, upon your hearts and upon your lasting souls, if you fail to put in the work that can have you avoid these most close and personal tragedies. These scenarios are only the logical outcome of having a woman’s choice be permanently removed, and you all will have to feel every gut-wrenching moment of them, no matter how you’re connected to women.

If you all want to avoid this, you need to get up off your butts and do something. If you want to know what you can do, it’s pretty simple: Go ask a woman! A mom, a daughter, a sister, a niece, a wife, a girlfriend, an aunt.

Get up and go, or prepare for a whole lot of grief, guys.

gregory rush

Written by

Been there done that over the river through the woods up the creek and under the weather ‘round the bend & back again now here doing this.

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