gregory rush
Jul 23, 2017 · 1 min read

Very thought provoking, and so a couple of random thoughts:

On “Contempt”: I remember a TV talk show guest, a marriage counselor, remarking that she could sit in a restaurant and upon overhearing the tone of speech in the exchange of a couple arguing at a nearby table, predict whether their relationship still had possibilities, or was already doomed. She said the second verdict was from hearing the contempt and condescension in both their voices as they spoke to each other.

Apparently that perceived state of mind is every bit as powerful as was mentioned; a “red line” that can eliminate chances for reconciliation.

On how to prevent an episode of chronic grumpiness in a male partner who brings home bad news: Three critical words for him to hear before you say anything else: “Damn those people!” (Or thing, agency, event, etc.).

If you acknowledge that his emotional state is at all realistic in the moment, he’ll be much more amenable to anything else you have to say. Especially critical before you share any suggestions on how to solve or prevent whatever happened.

Got to establish that it’s a matter of “we”, not just his problem that he’s brought home to you. Then, you might even get him to willingly join you in subsequent “systemizing and efficiency-seeking” efforts, because you’re now both on his familiar ground.

    gregory rush

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    Been there done that over the river through the woods up the creek and under the weather ‘round the bend & back again now here doing this.