Wherever You Go, There You Are

Are you blaming your current shituation on your environment? It can be tempting to fall into the trap of this kind of thinking:

“Oh if I got out of this stinking town, my life would be amazing!”

“This girl I am dating is horrible, if only I could find the right person.”

“If only I lived in Europe, my life would be so much better. I hate America.”

All of these statements may be true but they are only part of the equation.

Blaming your location, other people, and the government for your current station in life is a great way to avoid taking personal responsibility.

Wherever you go, there you are.

What the hell does that mean?

This is not a new idea and I am definitely not the first person to say it. What it means is simply this…

YOU CAN RUN TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH, YOUR ISSUES WILL ALWAYS BE RIDING SHOTGUN WITH YOU. (I am yelling at you because I want you to get this, read that last sentence again.)

You see this all time with lottery winners. Overnight their financial status changes but they almost always end up broke within a year. This is because they brought their poor man mentality with them to the mansion. It doesn’t matter how much money is awarded, their issues with money follow them and find something to blow it on.

You can’t run from yourself.

I remember I spent a large part of my early dating life blaming whatever girl I was with at the time for my unhappiness in the relationship. Like clockwork around the three month mark, I would dump her in hopes of finding whatever I was looking for in the next girl. It took a few times, but I eventually took inventory and finally came to the hard truth-I was the one common factor in all of these relationships. It was a pretty eye opening experience to be told the same things about myself by different women who had never met each other. I was told I was aloof, emotionally unavailable, and that they had no idea how I felt about them.

I had to be honest with myself and own the fact that I was bringing all of my issues around intimacy and commitment into every relationship. It did not matter who I was dating, there I was. I could not run from my issues.

If your life is not working for you right now, by all means start to make some changes in your environment and social circle. Just remember, you and your issues will shadow you wherever you go. They don’t care who’s arms you run to, they will continue to flair up until they are addressed.

A horrible work ethic will show up whether you are making minimum wage or a million dollars.

A controlling manipulative monster will eventually show up whether you are dating a prince or a toad.

An entitled brat will criticize their environment whether they are in Montana or Manhattan.

Our shit never leaves our side.

The next time you are tempted to start blaming whatever person, place, or thing for you life please take some time to do some inner work. Ask yourself what are the reoccurring, personal issues that are stinking up your life?

Instead of running from yourself, acknowledge your issues.

If you do this, you will thrive in any environment.