About a year ago I took my mom to a Mercedes dealership to look at cars. Before this, I had never stepped foot in a mercedes showroom and the experience changed my whole view on sales, business, and luxury.

The Mercedes dealership had a receptionist that you walked up to who then called a sales associate from the back to greet you. I could go on and on about the differences but the point is we left with a car that evening when my mom had every intention of buying her third camry that morning.

Was it the mystique of the Mercedes that got the sale that day? Not really, it was one major difference that I think sold my mom.

They weren’t desperate.

The salesman never said this, but he gave off an energy that said, “We know who we are and we know our machines. We would love for you to purchase our car but if not, we want to make sure you have a wonderful experience.”

Every other time I have set foot in a car dealership there was the pungent odor of desperation that bombarded my senses and left a bad taste in my mouth.

What makes some people desperate while others give off a vibe of helpful detachment?

It’s a matter of where their focus lies.

A desperate person/company is one that is consumed with their own situation and their immediate needs.

A “thirsty” guy is so consumed with his own sexual needs that he loses all sense of what it takes to actually get someone to have sex with him.

A desperate salesman who is not making their sales quota is obsessed with keeping his job and loses all sense of serving the customer.

The reason desperation smells so bad is because a desperate person is telling everyone that they really don’t care about someone else’s needs. It is all about what THEY want to happen.

If you want to remove the stench of desperation, you have to shift your focus. Great marketers find the demographic they want to sell to and study what those people want.

Mercedes understood that people want an experience when they buy a car, so they bring you coffee and water. They bring in interior decorators that make it look like a luxury home. These little things set it apart from other car dealerships.

Apple stores don’t try to sell you a $1,000+ machine the minute you walk in. They understand that people like to play on machines before they buy them so they let you pick up and play with all of their products and allow you to buy them without ever waiting in line or walking to a cashier.

These brands understand that if they master what you want, there will never be desperate.

If you begin to study women and really get a firm understanding of what they want (a lifetime endeavor by the way) you will never suffer from thirst.

If you are looking for a job, stop telling yourself you NEED A JOB TODAY. Find a cool company and study what they need. Your shift in focus will get you hired.

If you are starting a business, take a break from obsessing over that amount you need to stay open. Study everything you can find out about the customers you have already. If you do not have any customers study the demographic you would like to sell to.

When your thinking is stuck on all of the things that you NEED to happen in a situation you begin to produce that desperation smell and chase away opportunities.

When you feel yourself getting desperate, remember to shift your focus.

Nothing smells better than the sweet aroma of someone who is focused on the needs of someone else.