Thanks Tyler. But I know what a metaphor is. I also know what bad writing is: the over-use of metaphor, simile, exaggeration, sarcasm, or ANYthing. Its just bad writing. Unless one is writing a poem, which this is not. The article attempts to be cute, and in this attempt goes too far and loses the reader. Look at the responses, and you’ll see I’m not the only one he lost. No big deal, I’m sure the author is great, but alas, not this time.