Self Control

Where discipline needs to come in!

Today I woke up, very optimistic and the day was going well. I cleaned up my parents house, as per usual, and I ate lunch, dressed nicely and went to work, work was boring but at least I have a job and for that I am grateful but as It came time to leave and to come back home, I felt emotionally ill. See loneliness can kill, and I believe it is killing me. I liked this guy and in order to stay holy and do things the christian way, we had the talk, anywhoo, It seems like I have been dropped like a hot potato. It hurts, it really does, to know that to some I am just disposable. As i mentioned in an earlier post, I don’t have too many friends, and I pride myself on keeping myself private, so if i open up to you then there must be something there. Anyways I am trying to be optimistic about letting go and letting God, but I am human and this emotional displacement sucks. I think I mentioned that I realized that I am an emotional eater. So I came home and had a finger sandwich, half in a chicken nugget, a wafer, 1 and a half slices of cake, then I had a hot dog bread with cheese, a fried drummette,piece of a bun and piece of macaroni pie. As i said I was distraught and use food as comfort and that is bad since I am trying to lose the rest of weight that I have on my body. I am really gonna start trying to place my attention on something else other than food when i am mad, or sad because when I am happy I can control myself. I don’t wanna eat like this anymore, nor feel like this because they go hand in hand. I thank God for giving me a giving and accepting heart but why must people take advantage of it. smh! I cried tonight because this hurts, It’s a great thing for mediums like this where I can express myself, because sometimes holding all of this in can make you go crazy. Anyways just praying for a breakthrough and still excited about God doing what He does best, miracles. I am grateful, because I know that reason why I am going through so much is because my blessing will be monumental and then some.

This is me, Melissa Jules, broken but not defeated, cast down but not destroyed. This Christian, Single, Young woman journey is tough but I will make it, I have to….