Hi, lefty white guy friends. We need to talk.
Dear White Male Friends Who Don’t Want to See a Human Dumpster Fire as Our Next POTUS:
We need to talk, guys. I know most of you are “With Her,” (well, except for the ideological purists who are still hanging onto the “this is the year to smash the corrupt two-party system!” dream and you guys — ugh, just take your privilege and stick it somewhere private), and that’s GREAT!
Most of you really, really despise Trump. That’s great too. Because he’s worthy of scorn, derision, and disgust. Still, he’s not worth hating; he doesn’t deserve the energy that hating him would take. He’s like a pile of shit on a sidewalk square in front of your house that you keep stepping in, and everyday that pile gets a little bigger. A little smellier. A little chunkier. A little harder to wipe off the soles of your shoes. It’s really, really gross, and so of course you complain about it. You complain about it A LOT. You post articles and memes talking about how disgusting the poop square is. You write impassioned thinkpieces about that shitty square, and how it’s not just going to destroy your shoes, it’s going to destroy AMERICA. And you’re right. That pile of shit will just keep on growing unless we Americans do something to stop it.
But there’s a sidewalk square right next to the shitty one that you could be stepping on instead! It’s pretty clean, for a sidewalk. There’s some grime in the ridges, but that’s what happens to a sidewalk square when it’s been stepped on with dirty feet over and over for 30 years. But it’s not cracked at all, and when it was first poured some little kid put her handprint into the wet concrete and that handprint is still there! There are some plants growing in the corner of it. Sure, they are weeds, but their flowers are really pretty and weeds are tough as hell to get rid of, right? But you don’t step on it because it’s not in the direct path to your car in the morning. You’d have to take a step to the side, and then to the other side, to avoid the shit square and step instead on the flower and handprint square. It’s not THAT big of a deal to take a couple extra steps, but damn it, you need to get to your car in a hurry and besides, this is the way you’ve always walked to your car! It’s the fastest way from point A to point B! And that shit pile is IN YOUR WAY.
So you use your big white male voices — the loudest voices in the room, always — to talk about the shit pile. How bad it is. How much it’s going to ruin everyone’s life just like it’s ruining yours. You give that shit pile so much amplification that the astronauts on the ISS have heard about it. And if there’s anything that shit pile loves, it’s attention. Talking about the shit pile makes it swell with pride.
So, here’s my suggestion: stop talking about the shit pile.
Take the extra 5 seconds in the morning to change your routine. Step to the left, and then to the right, so you can step on the handprint and flower square on the way to your car. It’s going to take some practice to change your habit. You are going to step on the shit square sometimes when you are in a hurry, or tired, or pissed off. But if you are conscious — nay, woke — about where you step, if you actively think about where you put your feet down — well, your rational self is going to say, “no way, shit pile! I’m stepping on the flower square today!” Pretty soon, that step to the left and then to the right isn’t going to feel like a detour on the way to your car. It’s going to feel like the right way to your car. It’s going to feel natural and good. And, at some point, you’re going to want to start talking about how awesome that flower and handprint square is.
So, white male friends — start talking about Hillary Clinton. NOW. Start talking about how she is the most qualified candidate for POTUS in over 100 years. Start talking about how her policies will protect your family, your job, and your health. Talk about how her plans for affordable college, immigration policy, a fair minimum wage, prison reform, and access to health care benefit you, the white male American.
Women and people of color have been talking about Hillary’s accomplishments and plans a lot, because we’ve seen how she’s been working for us for a very long time. But, because of reasons we all acknowledge, our voices aren’t listened to the way yours are. Most of you are eager to be “allies.” Well, here’s your chance. You have the loudest voices in the room, whether you like it our not, and with great power comes great responsibility, or so I’ve been told by a bunch of Spider Man movies. In this election, you have a chance to use your power for good. Wear an “I’m With Her” T-shirt to work, and post a pic of yourself wearing it to Instagram. Volunteer to phone bank, canvass, or drive folks to the polls. Be seen in the world ACTIVELY supporting a woman — THE woman — who is absolutely the most qualified, vetted, experienced, knowledgable person running for the presidency.
When you are used to taking a certain route, it can be hard to change, especially when that route is easy. But we need you to change your route. Step to the left, then to the right. Stop talking about the shitty sidewalk square. Start talking about the flower and handprint square.
Keep the shit off the soles of your shoes.