I hate compliments.

You probably think I’m just being a cynical cunt.

I’ll be frank here. I’m partially a cynic; I’m partially a realist; and I think my disdain towards compliments stem from years of feeling rejected, dejected, and somewhat isolated.

95% of the time I receive a compliment, they’re positive and I can sense the sincerity from the stranger. The other 5% of the time I receive a compliment, I can sense the stranger’s subtle sarcasm and underlying maliciousness.

Even though compliments are nearly always positive, I still hate them. While they can be flattering, compliments merely make me more conscientious of myself.

“I love your outfit!” the well-intentioned stranger chimes in.
“Haha, thanks!” I mutter back with a somewhat-enthusiastic tone as to not come off as brash and rude.

Instead, I think to myself: Really? I don’t think so. I’m not nearly as fashionable as the dude over there rocking an outfit that would probably be on some fashion blog or street mag.

“Nice dance moves!” the fellow concert goer/club kid remarks.
“Haha, thanks!” I murmur back, attempting to act as if his/her/their statement hasn’t made me 200% more self-aware of my composure and actions.

Instead, I think to myself: Really? I don’t think so. I’m a scrawny, lanky 6 foot tall twig who sticks out like a sore thumb, is slightly off rhythm, and looks synthetically inebriated despite my sobriety.

Small, random compliments with positive intentions simply result in me being more mindful of my appearance, my self-worth, and my behaviour.

Perhaps my disdain towards verbal compliments stems from my anti-social tendencies and introverted mindset.

I would MUCH rather receive a friendly smile than exchange ten seconds of conversation with a total stranger. I would MUCH rather have other people join my one-man dance party than have someone chime in on my boss-ass moves and immediately go their separate way.

Non-verbal communication and body language have a more positive impact on a person like me — a person who has a slight proclivity to shut out others around him/her/them rather than fully opening himself for others.

Non-verbal compliments will always be more profound for people like myself that might have introspective propensities.

Non-verbal compliments will always express a person’s true sincerity.

So I guess I don’t necessarily hate all compliments.

I guess I am just more fond of non-verbal compliments.

Edit: I googled, “I hate compliments,” to see if other people shared the same sentiments as me, and some article on HuffPost suggested I have “low self esteem.”

“Don’t worry. I don’t have low self esteem… I have low esteem for everyone else.”