A Moment Of 100% Vulnerability

This article won’t be the easiest to write but it’s definitely needed right now. It’s needed for me because I must improve my transparency, authenticity, and vulnerability as a leader. And I also know this is necessary to fulfill my mission of empowering, enlightening, and equipping others to not only change their life for the better; but control their life for the better. So immediately following my brief therapeutic session I’ll tie in the principles I’m using to persevere my current predicament.

I grew up in a house full of women with a single mom, a sister 7 years old than me, and a sister 3 years younger than me. My mom maiden name is Bell and its full of strong women. And today I’m an uncle and father figure to 3 nieces. It’s always been perceived by me growing up that complaining or “venting” was a female trait. And the man’s job was to endure, suck it up, and lead. Now today I’m blessed to have a growthmate in my life that has shown me the importance of communication, cultivating, and partnership. However, I can’t help but resort to my old ways of holding things in and just enduring them. So to whom it may concern, I’m writing this article to vent, let things off my chest, and hopefully, help at least one person that reads this.

I feel like I’m being tested right now to a level I’m not familiar. Although I know that God is preparing me for blessings he has in store for me; in the midst of this storm, it gets a bit overwhelming. I’ve done a great job of informing people of my past adversity. How I went from being homeless to a business owner, building a 6 figure business in 18 months in a city with a $35k yearly median income, and took a leap of faith for something great with becoming the Cofounder & President of Health Is Wealth Nation; a division of Herbalife Nutrition. I hate to be perceived as displaying one ounce of ungratefulness with where I’ve positioned myself in life right now. But it would be a bold face lie to say that things are easier now than they were when I was homeless. Now there are so many things on the horizon with my book, opening a nutrition club in downtown Mobile Al, and starting my powerlifting career and company this fall. Right now I have all the tools skills I need to be successful with my experience as a District Manager combined with my life experience. However, life has presented many trials and tribulations. So far this year I’ve had another uncle pass away(4th one in 4 years), my mom was in a car accident and totaled her car, and eventually lost her job due to injury. She was able to get another car; her dream car actually; but now being unemployed leaves more responsibilities on me. My dream was to retire her later this year because I hated she had to endure the labor of the job she had. So in the grand scheme of things her not having the job anymore is a blessing, but to say the timing is bad would be an understatement. last July I moved out of my place and moved back home to my mom house to help out. It only made sense with my goal of retiring her and paying off the house but safety issues played a big role. My younger sister is paranoid schizophrenic and bipolar. And this past year has been filled with breaking up fist fights between her and my mom, nights hearing my mom cry herself to sleep, and a recent altercation result in my sister taking a weapon to my face leaving two permanent scars on my nose and by my eye. And lately, I’ve had multiple nights where I either cry myself to sleep or can’t sleep at all. I trust God’s process and know I have to stick to it and make the progress. And even though I have decided never give up on the mission he instilled in me; there isn’t a day that passes for the last year that I’ve haven’t thought about giving up and had to resell myself on my vision.

That was extremely difficult to write but I pray it doesn’t come across as me complaining but as a gesture of vulnerability. I don’t seek sympathy nor empathy but rather clarity.

One thing I want people to see is that the road of being an entrepreneur, taking control of your life, and pursuing personal freedom is far from smooth. As soon as you decide to do something great in life; a negative force decides to intervene this pursuit of happiness you’ve embarked on. It’s the natural Ying and Yang of life. There’s no way around it. Too many people view adversity as a bad thing but it’s actually the filtering mechanism life deploys to see how bad you truly want something. The pretenders give up and the committed persevere and are rewarded.

There are 3 key principles that stand out from what I’m currently experiencing. I’m going to conclude this article with these 3 principles so that they’ll be the last 3 things you consume and so you can digest and apply. If you are reading this I just have to say one thing; I love you. Not because I know you personally, not because we have sentimental history, but because of something bigger. We’re running the same race. We’re both on the same planet, breathing the same air, feeling the heat from the same sun, and feel the coldest of the same rain. And with all of those similarities, it’s only logical to conclude that we all are experiencing the same adversity just in different forms. So for that, I love you!

  1. Perspective: It has been said that life is more how we look at it than how things actually are. So our reality is clearly dictated on our perception. I always remain grateful that I’m no longer where I used to me, I realize people are in a much worse circumstance than me, and I continue being future oriented knowing that my vision is bigger than me or how I feel at the moment.
  2. Process: All great things in life take time and/or pressure. Coal becoming a diamond takes time a pressure, a car being manufactured takes both, and even the Chinese Bamboo Tree takes 5 years to grow. It requires water every single day but stays dormant for 5 years. Watering and maintaining it for 5 years without seeing any progression. However, once it breaks through the ground and sprouts; it grows 90 plus feet in a matter of 6 weeks! So we can’t expect to instant gratification or shortcuts in life.
  3. Patiently Aggressive: Now this may seem like a contradiction or an oxymoron but it’s crucial you catch it and find the harmony between the two. Too many people are living the two extremes of being so patient that they become passive and disengaged in life or they’re so aggressive in the moment they squander building a solid foundation for the future. I think it’s healthy to do both. Work hard and produce in the moment while realizing that things come in time and we have to be patient. This is guaranteed to make sure you create your ideal life and overcome any adversity life presents to you.