Why are we here?

Dear Inara,

I have struggled for so long to begin writing letters to you. Crippled by fear and feelings of inadequacy, I lay on the mat of procrastination waiting for the perfect time — a sign, a stirring of the waters, and someone or something that would knock me unconscious, sweep me off my feet, and throw me into the waters whose waves would rock me into action. Today, I decided to stop waiting, throw off every restraint, get up, and put one foot in front of the other.

I believe my letters will be beneficial to you as you chart your own course and walk your own path. Speaking about walks, few days ago, I took a solo one and as I returned home; I began to think for the umpteenth time about a subject I believe is fitting for my first letter to you — the purpose of existence. I will admit to you that I do not fully understand the scope of my life or why I am here. Have you given it much thought too?

I figure you are a lot like me. You have attended the seminars, filled the work books, asked yourself the assessment questions, asked God (sometimes begged in frustration and tried to twist His arm at other times), journaled…everything in main stream purpose discovery books and trainings. All of these in an attempt to capture what your life is about, to coin a one-liner that describes your entire existence; ridiculous if you think about it.

Do not get me wrong, I know people who God has communicated their purpose to that way. It does happen. I do not think it is a one size fits all method however, so I have resigned myself to putting my hands in God’s and letting Him lead me one step at a time. To focus on the step in front of me even if I cannot see the entire staircase. After all, if He is the one who leads us, we will definitely arrive where we should be, don’t you think?

Back to my story…That day, as I trod those neural pathways I have become all too familiar with, I thought about what I want my life to be about; I thought about what for me would make for a life well lived and these stood out to me:

I want to be like Jesus.

I want to please God. I want Him to be proud of me. I want my life to contribute to His purpose on Earth. I want Him to be able to trust and count on me. I want Him to say, “Well done good and faithful servant,” when I appear before Him on the last day.

I want to be a blessing to people. I want to bless with my presence, words and resources.

I want to create wow moments using art. Whatever the medium: words or fabric, lines or fittings and fixtures, I want to create beauty and serenity just like my Abba.

I want to be a wife my husband says thank you to God for every single day of our lives. I want to partner with God and my Khaizer — a threefold cord that cannot be broken- to put ten thousand to flight.

I want to be a great mum; to raise my children in a home where the supernatural is common place. To hand down a heritage of faith in and intimacy with God. I want to train them in the path of their unique destiny.

I want to be a conduit of the miraculous power of God. To preach on streets and heal the sick. I want to minister the healing balm of Jesus to ailing bodies and broken hearts.

I want to finance kingdom projects. I want to own multi-billion-dollar companies whose entire profits are channeled toward missions. I want to better communities and provide amenities for disadvantaged groups.

I want to create pleasant memories for my family and friends; to give thoughtful and meaningful gifts, sponsor vacations, give surprises, make the wishes of their hearts come true. I want to love lavishly, and write a ton of 3-page letters to that effect.

I want to love. I want people to have a taste of the love Jesus has for them through my life. I want to be an answer to prayer.

Inara, I have shared these things with you to encourage you to dig deep and figure out under the guidance of the Holy Spirit what you want your life to count for. To figure out the things that matter to you. You may not have a one liner or a paragraph that describes your existence but the nudging and desires of your heart are indicators of what God wants to do with you. Let them guide your choices. Let them inform your decisions. Remember, you are light — illuminating and shining.

I look forward to writing to you again my beloved. Love and light!

~Sanzit