If your life is a movie, who is the star?
Are you the star of your own movie or are you a supporting actor, or maybe an extra? I posit that we should all be the stars of our own movies. It doesn’t always work out that way, though. Sometimes we slowly and insidiously cast others in the starring role.
I am talking about the people we let live inside our heads. Do you have a boss that you can barely tolerate? An ex who won’t leave you alone? Maybe a relative that seems to be constantly seeking your assistance? Many of us allow these people to permeate our thoughts and thereby, our lives.
Do you find yourself constantly talking or complaining about the star of your movie? Do you often run around doing everything to please them? Maybe you sacrifice your own needs to make them happy. Maybe they consume your days when you would rather be doing anything else.
Sometimes we let other people take control of our minds and our lives. A helpful tool for dealing with this can be cognitive behavioral therapy, (CBT). For example, say you have a boss that won’t leave you alone during your down time for work. You find yourself giving in to their demands for your time. Then you find yourself complaining to your spouse about your demanding boss. You blame the boss for treating you this way, and have never-ending thought trains about how they make your life miserable. You have cast them as the star of your movie. With CBT you can learn to redirect your thoughts away from your demanding boss and back on to what you want in life. CBT helps people examine their own thoughts. Say you have the thought, “I have to call my boss back NOW.” You can ask yourself, is this thought true? You can play the script to the end, “what will happen if i don’t call my boss back NOW?” It’s very unlikely you would get fired for not calling your boss back when you’re not even supposed to be working! That is a human resources complaint.
Who, in your life, have you let have so much power over you that you have given up your starring role in your own life? Try asking yourself, “what do i need and want in life?” Get your identity back. It is not selfish to put yourself first. Other people are important, but i suggest that YOU are the most important person in your own life. You can’t really help others until you are taken into account. Doing it the other way around can leave you exhausted and depleted. Start thinking about how you can re-cast yourself as the star of your movie. Be the hero in your own story.
