nauseous

Despite the rage that filled last week’s update, I have decided (for the time being) not to ask my boss to give me less hours each week. All of the tension that’s been building up in my department sort of came to a head this past week and, long story short, we’re short staffed. And we’re approaching the holiday season. So I’m taking a different approach to tackle my exhaustion. I’m going to get into a routine of sorts, start waking up earlier, at a more consistent hour each morning, and getting serious about my school work. I haven’t been able to get into this semester; I don’t feel like I’m back in school.


On a more encouraging note, I finally took two minutes to see what my score was on my AP Environmental Science exam. I never bothered looking (it’s been a year and a half since the exam) because I just figured I didn’t pass. None of the students in the class felt like we were prepared for the exam. But I’ve been carrying the little AP score card with me in my wallet ever since the exam and I finally checked. I passed! I got a 3/5 , which means proficient. That means that I can get college credit for a science course. This is such great news because I’ve been putting off taking my science requirement for my major because it involves a lab that I just can’t work into my schedule, and now I may not have to take it! And I can take a fun course like creative writing or drawing II instead!

Something else I need to work on in order to aid my recovery from extreme exhaustion is my physical wellness. Since I quit dancing in 11th grade, I really haven’t been very active. I would like to start with stretching regularly, then I’ll get back into moving in some way, shape, or form.

Maybe I’ll start today, I definitely did not get up as early as I would have liked but that doesn’t mean I can’t move around a little. For the sake of accountability, today I am going to stretch and go for a walk. There, I said it, I have to do it now.


This past Wednesday was my anniversary with Kevin, it’s been two years. I had class in the morning and wound up falling asleep when I got home, and I slept until 8pm (sorry Kevin). After I finally got out of bed, I made a little dinner for us, and then worked on some homework. So it wasn’t a very eventful day, but the night before, we broke out our gifts for each other, which were obviously pastries, because what else would we want in life? I got him his favorite Squmpkin Pie from the Ever So Humble Pie Company, and he made me cinnamon rolls, from scratch! I guess he outdid me, but in my defense, that pie is hard to come by this time of year, they sell out all of the time, and it is his favorite, so I think equal effort was made by all.

I had planned to make a loaf of cinnamon swirl bread and pumpkin butter yesterday, because I had the day off, but I wound up staying at Whole Foods after I dropped Kevin off, and I just worked on my paper, because I’m not even close to being done and it is due Tuesday night. I also decided to defer the bread project because in the past week we’ve eaten squmpkin pie, apple pie, apple crisp, and cinnamon rolls. I can feel my pancreas weeping. So I will wait until next Friday, maybe; I think a week is a good period of recovery.

I haven’t had any time to myself lately, and I think that it has been contributing to my grumpiness as of late. I am literally never alone. It’s terrible. The only time I have to myself is when I drop Kevin off at work and then drive back home, but I haven’t done that in a while because it’s such a big waste of gasoline. I really can’t wait until I can afford a new car. I haven’t decided what I’ll be getting, but I would love for it to be a hybrid that uses mostly electricity but can use gas as a fall back. I heard on NPR the other day that the Shell drilling in the Arctic has been postponed indefinitely because the price of gas is so low right now, that it would cost more to drill than they would make out of the oil that is potentially available. An environmental scientist then added that if we keep gas prices permanently low, by reducing the demand (by using energy alternatives), we can stop major drilling projects like the one in the Arctic. That just gets me so psyched! Like, we, I have the power. I can join the hybrid/electric car movement and, in turn, keep oil companies from drilling, fracking, and polluting. I know there’s a long way to go, but it starts with each individual turning to energy alternatives in order to make a big impact. And before anyone argues with me about all of the lost jobs and the crumbling of the whole industry, I will say this: We are an evolving country and industries have collapsed in the past, demand shifts, new jobs are created. Our planet can’t sustain the way we’re living.

So this week’s update has just sort of been a gumbo of random thoughts and goings ons. I have to leave for work in a half hour and my computer is getting low on battery (I’m too lazy to get the charger out of my backpack right now). So I’ll bid adieu. Thanks for listening, and thanks for encouraging me to keep up with this blog. The two things I hope to get out of it are a personal sense of direction and self-awareness in my life, and also I hope that it serves as a way to communicate with some friends I have lost touch with, so they can know that I still exist, I still love them all, I’m just overwhelmed by how much I have to do in each 24 hour day.

Thanks for existing, you’re all beautiful.

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