Captain Smythe-Gallant of HMCS Fredericton II

( My one bit of humour tapped out in 30 sec’s or less for Fb: )

“Cap’n Smythe, Cap’n Sirre, thae’s a mahn an Fadebuk wetts gawn o’erbard !”

“Lad, if yer a Boatswain’s Mate, mind the ropes remain piled on deck.”

“Duy ya meenz Bos’sun, Cap’n? Ah wuz a Prenters apprennic wunce, two !”

“No salt water in those ropes, you hear me ?!? Is there a bathroom on this floor of the boat, sailor ?”

“Ah hae no head fer figgers, Sirre. Is thass the Four Deck ?”

notes:
Smythe prominent name in Fredericton
Gallant current premier of the bilingual province of New Brunswick, Canada, who recently created a minister resp. for Celtic affairs which has sent me off to the Scots wiktionary and wikipedia projects and the trove they constitute for dialectical humour.