Hello,
I am really sorry you experienced this behaviour from these idiots.. To be honest with you, it sounds to me more like “a bad company” than “a bad industry”… It’s like having a bad experience at a restaurant and then suddenly saying that you will never go to a restaurant again.. I would say that because you felt unsettled from this incident, you are generalizing and blaming an entire industry (which is unfair) … It’s like saying that after I met a group of people from country X and I felt insulted from their behaviour, everyone from the country X is a bad person … In fact, in the scenario I mentioned before you would be characterised as “racist” (by the way, I am not calling you a racist, just to make it clear).
From my experience, whenever in the teams I was we had one or more women working with us, they got the most attention and were treated in the best possible way. When I had a lady that she was reporting to me, I did my best all the time to keep her happy, to do the job she liked because I valued her as a person. And this is the important thing in my opinion:
It’s all about respect: not for the country you are from, not because of your background, not for your religion or anything else. Respect for who you are… Respect that you are a human being like everyone else …
I recently feel a little puzzled myself. What does that mean “women in tech”? Why should we discriminate women from men? Why should we prefer to hire women and not men or men and not women? From my experience, I have never ever heard that a woman didn’t get a job because she is not a man.. Let’s stop putting labels about “women in tech” or “men in tech” etc. Let’s promote a fair, open and friendly environment for everyone in tech industry (and not only) to come and enjoy, contribute and do what they love doing and provide equal opportunities and let’s avoid labels.. That should be the message for everyone and we should all contribute from our side to achieve this goal.
As a personal advice to you (I hope you don’t mind me sharing this with you) is:
- When you feel that someone or something bothers you, stand up and say that… When you don’t express your feelings, the other person might actually misinterpret your behaviour that you might actually find it funny (or that you simply don’t mind his comments). Sometimes good people (obviously not these guys here, maybe the guys that actually apologised might not be that bad but you know that best) do something wrong (again, in general, not in this case) and because of the lack of feedback, they think it’s acceptable..
- If you love tech, don’t leave tech… Would you leave the country you live if you met 5 stupid people? You might want relocate to another neighbourhood or another area.. And in your case, that’s what you should do: move to another job.
- HR is your friend. If you feel insulted, go to HR… They have to listen to you and make sure they address the problem, otherwise you can go to a lawyer and cause them serious damage… You have equal rights as every other person, so stand up and speak! Every healthy person (and they are the vast majority) will be on your side, trust me.
- Become a little stronger as a person. Life is tough unfortunately and we have to learn to fight. I am sure in your life you had more tough moments than this one and yet, you are here fighting… Don’t blacklist and blame hundreds of thousands of people across the world for a bunch of idiots…
Keep on doing what you love and never give up..
Best Regards,
George
P.S.: Sorry for the long comment
