Rerouting — starting again as an entrepreneur

I guess what I find hardest is switching my brain back to beginner mode.

A little background on my journey so far

When in 2021 I had to leave behind the startup I had so loved and dedicated my life to for over 5 years I was truly devastated. On a logical level, I understood completely the reasons I had to do that, but that forced break with how I thought my life would be really threw me for a spin. And I didn’t expect the profound effect it had on the months that followed.

While I was living my dream of traveling around as a digital nomad, I would spend that year deeply saddened and on an extremely short fuse. I really pity (and I’m extremely grateful to) my husband for putting up with my swinging moods and my constant sense of instability. Because there is no other way I can explain it. I felt unstable. The ground on which I was building my life on had shifted.

Meanwhile, in an attempt to rebuild my professional life and keep busy, I got the opportunity to work at a friend’s startup in the Growth team. It felt good to be productive and to be able to bring my knowledge and experience to a new project, while not having to be 100% responsible for absolutely every detail of running a company entails. It was a trade-off with not being able to make the big decisions, however.

End of 2022, had to pivot once again. As part of the wave of tech layoffs, I was unexpectedly let go/fired (depending on how positive-negative I want to make out the situation to be). So there I was, re-calculating my life once again, having to make changes before I was ready to.

What I am facing now, a new beggining.

Because it is not the same to think of a strategy when you already have product-market fit or years of content + a loyal following as it is to literally get user number one. And the expectations I have for myself also can’t be the same being a one-person team for all the business needs.

Part of my entrepreneurial journey I so enjoyed included guiding and tutoring other startups and projects, giving them advice I had learned along the way. What I didn’t know then was that if I were to start from scratch again, I need to take heed of all the advice I doll out to people who are just beginning and remind myself that I still have things to learn.

I realize now that I actually have to go back and guide myself. And how hard it is to do that now I have first-hand knowledge of all the things that could go wrong and the long journey ahead.

It isn’t only the fear though. It’s also the high expectation of knowing what I am able to accomplish while setting aside all the time, work, and people it took to get there. And looking at the eternal list of to-dos and wondering how will I be able to do it all.

So I am starting with the most basic advice: be kind to myself. I know I will make mistakes. Need to accept that. I will get there. I know I have the capacity to do it.

And let me tell you, you do too!

Some of the things I mentioned might be interesting spinoffs to people going through a similar process (or not). Maybe I can elaborate further some other time if you think it might be interesting.

Thanks for reading! It felt good to get all of that off my chest.

I am also interested to know, where are you on your entrepreneurial journey today?