When Impulsiveness Destroys Our Lives

What are the benefits of being impulsive? I don’t think there are many. Impulsiveness is harmful to myself and to others around me. Worst of all, this behavior is somewhat unconscious, and usually followed by feelings of regret — “If only I could turn back time…”

We should learn to dominate our impulses — think before you act.

If someone is talking to me and I react aggressively… If someone asks me a question, and I answer the first thing that comes to my head… If I start a fight and act like a little kid having a tantrum… Maybe, just maybe, I might have an impulsiveness problem.

To be impulsive once in while is good and healthy. It helps defeat shyness and introversion; it makes my voice heard loud and clear. But when impulsiveness gets out of hand things get complicated very quickly.

There are different kinds of people: impulsive and compulsive. The latter are, for instance, the ones that buy more stuff than they need, and horde lots of stuff in their houses. I’ll just focus on the former — how we use anger, nervousness, crying, and rage when we don’t know how to deal with something or someone.

Dealing With Impulsiveness

We can convey many things by expressing our feelings and thoughts, but we don’t always say what we should. Maybe we don’t intend to hurt and antagonize, but that’s often what happens.

If you often throw the first stone, answer before you think; if your initial reaction is to get irritated and fight; if you feel hate and hanger crawling up your skin when you feel irritated… Then you really have a problem.

No need for excuses: “I’m stressed out, I wasn’t thinking, I’m dealing with lots of problems, I’m just impulsive by nature,” etc. Just face the fact that you have an impulsiveness problem. That’s the first step.

You should act, not react. If your first impulse is to attack, it’s usually better to wait. Count to ten, take a deep breath, think of kittens. Whatever works, as long as you don’t just say the first thing that comes to your head.

Sometimes just a two-second pause is enough to keep a conversation from turning a simple conversation into a battleground.

If you can give yourself a little bit of time to think about the words being said, your life will become much easier.

Original Steemit Post: https://steemit.com/life/@fxenakis/when-impulsiveness-destroys-our-lives