Such a great window into an addict’s mind, (it would be helpful to many, I suspect) to know the entire story’s personality and perspective is written from a brain in active/dry addiction to a very large extent. The whole problem can be (to unknowledgeable eyes) that the adept “subversively chameleonic” addict mind looks/feels healthy, as it tries to convince itself the “next time” will be better. Look into Dr. Nora Volkow’s work and cognitive-behavioral paradigms. I genuinely applaud and appreciate every addict out there willing to share his/her story. Godspeed through yours.