Same here Jon, maybe I should share.

After helping operate a BBS, programing laser lighting systems in Hollywood, I was a Combat Medic and registered Radiologic Technologist mostly doing spinal, trauma, and orthopaedic surgical cases. Seeing civilian health care in action for four years, I left an extraordinary professional career which I now found morally irreconcilable, to retrain my self.

This wasn’t supposed to be quite so complicated.

I first defeated the PTSD from war that plagued me for years while my “career” enabled me to avoid confronting it. It drove me to the edge of sanity often. By the end I was divorced and traumatized, I had large debts, I was barely functional on the inside, but instead of eating a bullet I inspected my life and made a comprehensive list of necessary changes.

Then I quit smoking, quit overdosing on caffeine, quit salting everything, learned three more spoken languages, lost 120 lbs and got back in ideal shape, nursed two knees to running shape after being wheelchair bound briefly and told I would need bilateral knee replacements.

However, I also ended up a victim of slavery, experienced every level of danger, police corruption, and abuse, but I met an arms trafficker and drug manufacturer who saw my situation and felt compelled to feed me and watched my back while I battled my way out and escaped. And he let me fight my own fight. Thanks, “E”, for everything.

I hung out with rock stars, and in dive bars, I helped countless people, saved at least one life, rid several of addictions, helped a runaway teen prostitute to go home to her family, learned how to be poor but live well and lived in the woods for a short while with a stray cat who alerted me of wolves, before moving forward.

Seizing an opportunity, I did porn and managed myself very well in what is an incredibly demanding business, meeting some great people on the way.

I’ve participated in citizen science and activism in spite of complications, whereas this “career” thing previously kept me from having any effort left to expend. Also, a Cuban combat veteran and helicopter pilot taught me to cook some amazing food and I learned a lot about an amazing place with amazing people.

Value is exponential with life experience, and I wouldn’t trade my history with anyone but now its time to bring these tools to bear on my career and life goals with laser focus. Now I know how to *really* help people, and understand them, because I’ve been there. Six years have passed since I went on walkabout. I’ve gone from soldiering and medicine to homeless, but now I’m a developer with a life, freedom, health, and the power to overcome anything. I have one important debt to pay, and no others. I ditched fancy cars in favor of public transit, and walking, and I’m glad.

Walk away! If you’re sure what you’re doing is wrong, stop! It takes a lot of stones, but there isn’t any other way if you want real change. The unknown is a common source of anxiety, and also excitement. As predators we crave diverse challenges in order to learn, so if you’re not nervous, you might not be striving.

I was dying. Now I live, and I will never fear failure again. My regret is that I’ve been around the world but I still haven’t made it to DEFCON in Las Vegas yet. Next year…