Sending Unconditional Love, Light and Prayers to you and your loved ones’ way, Scott. And Thank You so much for sharing your feelings. This post is a reminder call for me. Meditation blessed my life four years ago and changed it forever. It showed me sides of my existence I was completely unaware about before I awoke from my slumber. I learnt that I am the Creator of every blessing I receive and every mess I create. I also realized that God is not how I perceived It to be. Its quite an unsettling realization. I learnt to be constantly be ready to embrace death, which is not at all different from life.
Although, I still am the most important person in my life, however, in the past one year, on my quest to save money for my future, I had started suppressing some of my most basic requirements.
The voice inside me is saying the exact same words to me that you write here, since the past one year. Thanks once again, Scott. I will pray for you and your loved ones daily.
If convenient for you and if it resonates with you, please read the book “Dying to be me” by Anita Moorjani (Amazon link: https://www.amazon.com/Dying-Be-Me-Journey-Healing/dp/B00836QX2C). If you allow me, I would like to send it to you as a gift or you may buy it yourself. Or you may not even read it. I completely accept your choice. This book is my most favorite book of this lifetime. It showed me a completely new way of living this life and the one beyond it. It also taught me to love myself more passionately and more fiercely.
Namaste _/|\_ and I am blessed to have connected with you in this lifetime.