How I Got The Courage to Post This Article
You are probably reading the 5389th draft of this article. Not because I possess substandard writing skills, but because posting on Medium for the first time can be a daunting task.
No, scratch that. Clicking that little green button that says ‘Publish’ is, without a question, not for the faint of heart.
From the second I set up my account earlier this week, my feed has been constantly flooded with engaging articles from talented writers who seem to have decrypted the code that is the Medium algorithm. With their high number of claps and a dedicated reader base, they definitely got something right.
While I was never here to compete, the amount of love and the expertise that so clearly reflected on some of the content here got me thinking. Hell, it made me fall into a loop of discouragement and overthinking. I suddenly found myself asking- What if people don’t want to read what I have to say?
Or, will I ever be good enough to be ‘discovered’?
Though I am still young, I am not a total amateur at writing. It is something I have loved and done all my life.
But even the best of the best are not strangers to self-doubt. As human beings living in a world driven by competition, it is easier to fall into the comparison trap than to have faith in your own self.
After a few days of despair, I came across this quote:
Though we should always strive to be a better version of ourselves, it is equally important to identify when self-criticism starts to turn into a terrible case of imposter syndrome.
So, after a constant battle between my mind and the backspace button of my keyboard, I finally decided to post. Here are 5 things that helped me do that:
Positive Self Pep-Talk
Be it a much-dreaded job interview or seconds before we climb up the stage to deliver a speech, a last-minute pep talk can often make the difference between remarkable and mediocre.
The said pep talk works just fine when we are talking to our reflection in a public restroom. In my case, it was a bedroom’s dressing area.
Talking to myself, coupled with some deep breathing, goes a long way when it comes to making myself realise that, if others can do it, then I can, too.
Recognising and Breaking Negative Thought Patterns
The human mind has a not-so-cute minor disorder called ‘negativity bias.’ It is a beloved disciple of Murphy and tends to fixate on how things can go wrong. Then, it starts believing that outcome to be the ONLY possible one. You see where I’m going with this, right?
As soon as the first seed of self-doubt gets planted in our minds, it is almost an effortless task to spiral into a phase whose door says: Entry Prohibited: Pessimists Only. We readily enter.
While we are aware that we overthink, we do not realise exactly when and how to stop.
For this, I started journalling. Not in beautiful handwriting with coloured pens and flowery pages, but it helped me nonetheless. I wrote and verbally repeated that I will finally break the toxic thought patterns that seem to break my spirit.
It does not come naturally to me yet, but it is a journey in which I fall and continue to get up every single time.
My Company
This is probably not the first time you’re hearing this, but I will go ahead and say it anyway: You are as good as the company you keep.
Are your friends pushing you to work harder or are they telling you to “chill the f*** out”? Do your goals even align with them or are they simply ‘fun’ to hang out with? If your answer is the latter to both the questions, it might be time to evaluate who you spend your precious time with.
While there is no harm in having a good time with people, it is also important to notice if you can be vulnerable in front of them. For me, personally, having at least one person I can count on is essential — it can be my mother, my best friend, or a cousin who might as well be my sibling.
I have a small circle of best friends whom I can count on to tell me harsh truths and push me to do better on days when I am unable to find the will to start. Find that person in your life.
Reminding Myself- What’s The Worst That Could Happen?
“Seriously, how bad can posting an article online be?” is what I asked myself. We often let superficial things distort reality for us. This is especially true in a world driven by social media and our obsession with “faking it” till we really make it.
How much power does the ‘number of claps’ on Medium or a stranger spewing hate in the comment section have over me? Is my worth as a writer really defined by what other, equally flawed, human beings think of me?
Or is it the number of followers (0 at the time of writing this) that determines how talented I am?
I thought about various worst-case scenarios and realised that they only have the power to hurt my self-esteem if I let them.
At the end of the day, the trajectory of my growth will be determined by what I think of myself and believe that I deserve nothing less than the world.
Deciding to Just Go With It
In the end, I just decided to give it my best and have faith in the process. Nobody witnesses success overnight.
Sometimes we just need to put our heart into something and let nature run its course.
Here’s to doing more of what we love and finding the courage to live life the way we are supposed to — with a confident mind that takes risks willingly and a heart that loves freely.
Open to feedback! Give me a follow or tell me what you thought in the comment section. Thank you for reading. :)
