The pleasure of a stand-up pee and sleeping in a ‘perspective observatory’

Gustaf Kranck
Aug 23, 2017 · 2 min read

Like the ruler of the Seven Kingdoms I stood up and stretched my body to its full length. I pushed my collarbones back and moved most on my weight to the right foot. The left foot, which is plastered in blue, gently touched the greyish floor so that I could keep my balance. In slow motion, I let go of the handle by the toilet and then — I let the process begin. A small trickle quickly turned into the rushing golden waterfall. For the first time since the accident, I again had the great pleasure of peeing while standing up. A sense of well-being flowed through my brain.

Suddenly I remember the joke where God gives Adam the choice on how he would like to pee. Adam says ‘I want to be able to do it while standing straight’. God grants him this and then turns to Eve and says ‘You will not be able to stand but instead you can have multiple orgasms’. I look at my unshaven face in the mirror and smile. How lucky, that I am not Adam. What a heavy burden it would be to carry such a decision on one’s shoulders. Right now, I get to make a bit smaller decisions like ‘should I eat porridge with light or dark bread?’ or ‘should I read a book or watch the Games of Thrones?’. Being in a hospital reduces decision-making radically and it feels good for a short while.

Wise men have always said that sickness and misfortune are great ways to learn the pleasure of small things. I naturally know this wisdom but I find it refreshing to rediscover it here. This past week has reminded me that we humans are fundamentally no more than input of energy and output of waste. Life as we know is originating from this ‘mother of all processes’. We can never change that fact. ‘Nature’ originally (most probably by chance), came up with a mechanism for this input and output. Then evolution refined it. A number of funny applications popped up. One of them we call Homo Sapiens. We are after all no more than an accidental development. (Well, to protect me against the fury of religionists, I presume I need to use the term ‘most probably’ again.) I find it soothing because it puts all in perspective.

My hospital bed has turned into an ‘observatory of perspectives’.

Gustaf

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