“You are my closest friend and a man I can’t imagine not having in my heart, in my life, so I am gratefully, comfortably here. You are you and I am me and we are us, separately. A struggle faced by many it seems, to know when to say thank you for your love, and then say goodbye.”
Your introspection is amazing and a bit frightening. “If you could read my mind, love / What a tale my thoughts could tell,” by Gordon Lightfoot seems to capture your dilemma. (1)
You will certainly know when you have found your soul mate. I do hope he shows up soon — for your longing is becoming unspeakable. If I understand you right, he will open every pore of your body and soul, causing you to soar like the eagle with ecstasy.
Until then, there might be a lot more goodbyes.