Ask Polly: Lightning Round!
Heather Havrilesky

“You have to stop assuming that there’s something wrong with you. You have to stop telling yourself that you’re doing everything badly. And you have to start realizing that you have everything you need to be happy right now.”

Moral support: support or help, the effect of which is related to the mental and emotional states of the person, rather than physical. This is perhaps the biggest antagonist. I either have not felt or do not feel any support for what I am doing; hence, I must be doing something badly. Therefore, there is something wrong with me. I begin to doubt myself and thus my self-esteem begins to wane. If these feelings are not counteracted, I could become suicidal.

It is true that I have everything inside of me to make myself happy. My problem is outside of me. I am looking for validation. I am looking for someone to care about me. I am tired of feeling ostracized, even when I am with family and friends.

There can also be a very unhealthy desire to please everyone. I am killing myself trying to make everyone else feel loved and appreciated, but I am not feeling any of that aimed at me. I am resenting it deeply. Why can’t you see how much I am hurting inside? Why won’t you comfort me? I thought you were my friends.

It should be so simple to tell myself to dismiss all this. I should pursue my dreams, and to hell with them. I will inspire new friends to join me in my pursuit and we will support each other. My confidence with soar and we will accomplish great things together. If it were only that easy.

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