Dear Mr. Thin,

I enjoy your posts immensely and have followed you. Given your name, I would like your opinion on a question I have had for a long time. Believe me when I say that I’m not trolling here. I genuinely struggle with this question and nobody around me wants to talk about it. Since you are a counselor, I’ll start by charging Bob Dylan. Here is the charge:

Ballad of a Thin Man is a homophobic song.

As a Dylan obsessive, I love the song. I also don’t think Dylan is homophobic or anti-gay, but like Dickens’ character Uriah Heep, who in addition to being a villain also possesses the dog whistle traits of a chronic masturbator, Mr. Jones is repeatedly identified with homosexual imagery. Not only is Dylan calling out Mr. Jones and mocking him, Dylan is, perhaps unwittingly, using anti-gay rhetoric to run the square down.

If we can solve this question, then maybe we’ll move on to whether Balrogs have wings (they don’t).