I Can’t Believe This Is Real Life
Ellie Guzman

Excellent news. Not for you, for me! I want everyone to know that I MADE Ellie Guzman on Medium. Why, when I first found her she was writing under a rock and had something like -5 followers.

I noticed her talent right away. I can spot talent, and while it’s true that my first comment on any of her posts was, “U millennials R DUMB; GET OFF MY LAWN”… it was obviously “ironic”, and after I made it SHE BLEW UP.

So, to recap: Ellie didn’t get herself a job at Dreamworks. I got her a job at Dreamworks. OK, OK… before you write the angry missive about how I’m always trying to take credit for other people’s accomplishments, especially women and people of color… I’ll admit that there is probably some white guy at Dreamworks that should get some of the credit too, but fuck him.

And Ellie. Without Ellie being Ellie this wouldn’t have happened, so I’ll give her that.

Thanks Ellie! You made my day!

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