Thank you for this comment. I want people to know that I pay top dollar for testimonials like this and so I am crediting your account with 500 Mildew dollars. I will have our Nigerian banker get in touch with you. As soon as you provide a few personal details — SSN, mother’s maiden name, the name of your first pet, etc. — he will wire the money into your account. At present, Mildew Dollars can only be used in the canteen and recreation center here at the Mill. That’s the bad news. The good news is that today the special is Yankee pot roast and you can get three skee ball games for one Mildew Buck!

It’s OK if we are throwing pearls to swine. The fact is, Medium is a cultural ghetto, and that’s where I belong. It’s like the men’s room at Grand Central Station in the mid 70s. OK, maybe not that bad… it’s like the Port Authority Bus Terminal at 10:00 PM in 1986. Too specific?

I’m not a homo, but I like to think I’m cultured enough to pull this off. I’ll try one more time: we’re at the Duplex singing show tunes and it doesn’t matter that there are only ten people listening because we are killing it.

How did I do?