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Well, what can I say? It’s been a good run, and, let’s face it, I’m still catching cabs and getting return calls from real estate brokers, so my whiteness still has some legs. Sorry about leaving the world such a fucking mess. You know, we meant to clean up the greenhouse gasses before we turned it over but just ran out of time. The extra keys to happiness are right here, but I bet you’re going to change the locks, aren’t you? Anyway. Enjoy.

Now, can I get you something to drink?

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