Hugs and Kisses, XOXO
I know we haven’t spoken for a decade or more,
but Andy’s got an offer that we shouldn’t ignore.
He wants a Suck reunion, lord knows what for…
And why… not? What do you say?
We’re only “friends” on Facebook, that’s as far as it goes —
I’d rather not be upstaged so I’ll have to say no.
And since when, dear “pal” Joey, can we put on a show?
So no. “Thanks.” Anyway.
Jesus, Carl, I know you haven’t got other plans.
If I mean nothing to you, won’t you think of the fans?
We’ll be the clowns of the hour, then pocket a grand.
So why not? At least it pays.
Let the fans have their nostalgia and sweet memories —
I just won’t compete with some sainted version of me.
You can go on without me, I’m so sure you’ll succeed.
Now please, just… go away.
I can’t do it without you — on that Andy was clear.
If a slide show can’t do justice to Suck through the years
give me your “brilliant” suggestions, c’mon, I’m all ears!
Go on, have a field day.
Hmmm… I could do a Suck game show, make everyone lose…
Uhhh… crowd-source, let the fans suck… No! I know what to choose!
They’ll be singing my praises, and by “they,” I mean you!
“Suck dot com on Broadway.”
[JOEY (Lurching forward, compelled to sing)]
Carl, you fucking genius!
…Nothing else I can say.
With apologies to Joey Anuff, Andy Baio, and the attendees of XOXO 2015.