I’d like to be King of England

Apparently Prince Harry said that no one wants to be the king. I’d love to be King of England. I think it would be great fun. I can’t understand why guys wouldn’t want to be. It would be such a wonderful opportunity to impose one’s eccentricities on an entire nation. I would particularly enjoy the services rendered by a small army of shoe-polishers and shirt-ironers. I could also express all kinds of opinions, thoughts, utterings, mutterings, which would be interpreted earnestly by reporters and commentators. I could have an expense account at TKMaxx. I could open supermarkets and community centres. I would of course be on show most of the time (how stimulating) and the rest of time have private time in my London back garden (the size of Green Park!). Then I’d go on royal trains and planes and make smalltalk with foreign dictators; perhaps stay at the White House and study Donald Trump’s hairstyle at close range; visit settlements in the Pacific Ocean; get the best seats at the Opera House. Jeez, what more do you want? And why do ‘royals’ have to be so wracked by guilt and depression. Lighten up guys!